Between Friends
by mamasutra
Summary: Bella Swan has always played it safe ever since making a fool out of herself after making a move on her best friend, Edward Cullen. It was that night that landed her in the friendzone for the last five years with the one guy she had always wanted. Bella's uncomfortable safety will be put to the test in the form of a bet that could cost her heart or him when the winner takes all.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

I sat down at my desk with my half empty bottle of beer in hand to look out over the feast of junk food that covered my tiny kitchen table. It was excessive, but customary when it came to my anti-Valentine's Day celebration. Everything was in place except the one person I had always celebrated this most hated night with.

_Where are you?_

It was the same text message I had sent out five minutes ago only to be curtly reminded that he was on his way. The one thing I had definitely learned about Edward Cullen in our five years of friendship was that he hated being nagged.

I grinned as I listened to his exasperated groan while my front door flung open. The heavy metal door bounced off the dry wall behind it with a loud thud announcing his arrival.

"Still snowing?" I asked him even though I knew the answer to my question. I had been snowing for hours before he ever made his attempt across town to celebrate our non-date night. I watched him shrug off his winter jacket that was covered in the fresh falling snow before he turned towards me red faced from the cold while wearing a bright grin that I had come to count on to brighten my days.

"You could have stayed at home, you know," I offered with a smile that made him laugh.

"As if I would miss a night with you," he laughed breathlessly as he kicked off his shoes before handing me a bag. I didn't need to peer into the bag to know what it held. It was the same thing he would gift me with year after year. A six pack of the raspberry wheat beer from a local brewery that I loved followed up with a bottle of cheap champagne that we toast our failed love lives with. It was a Valentine's Day tradition for us.

"Oh, Edward," I cooed as I grabbed one of the bottles of beer from its cardboard holder to open before offering him one as well. "You remembered."

"As if I could forget anything about you," he laughed as he took the bottle of brew from my hand before taking the bag back so he could put the remaining ones in the fridge.

**AN:**

**Hey everyone! I hope you don't mind if I start posting this story. As always when it comes to my stories, this is just me playing around with an idea. If I follow the outline it will be around 30 chapters give or take depending on how many sex scenes I cut from it. Yes, this one will be a bit more smutty than The Lost. Thanks to anyone who might be interested in taking the ride with me : )**

**XOXO**

**Mamasutra**


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Edward had barely a chance to step out of the small hallway before the door clanged open once more to reveal a shivering Jasper Whitlock.

"What the fuck is going on out there?" he exclaimed as if the weather was out of the ordinary for February in Iowa, but the truth was it wasn't. He knew all too well that snow and freezing tempratures reigned supreme until April so his sputtering about the weather only made him sound like an imbittered old man instead of the vibrant twenty-three year old that we all were.

"What'cha got there," Edward asked he snatched the bag out from under Jasper's arm to reveal a bottle of Fireball Whiskey while leaving whatever six pack still in the bag. While it wasn't my drink of choice it was a nice warm me up on a cold night.

"Come on, we have some celebrating to do," Jasper insisted as he led the way into the kitchen, not caring at all about the snow-slush he was casting everywhere in his wake.

That was Jasper's way. I had known him all my life and there was never a moment that Jasper couldn't find something to celebrate. It was just his nature, and it was that ability to find beauty in everything around us that drew people to him. It was what drew me to him.

I looked over at Edward who lingered behind with me. His dark hair stood on end from the stocking cap he had been wearing and his dark framed glasses were still half fogged over from the cold. He looked disheveled and adorable in the best way possible, not that I tried to notice. I had long given up on trying to notice Edward, but there were moments like this when he made it impossible not to acknowledge how handsome he truly was.

"Do you know what he's talking about?" he asked me in a low voice as he leaned into me as if he were trying to keep our conversation private, but there was no such thing as privacy in my tiny apartment. His breath was warm against my ear causing me to shiver involuntarily as I tried to pass it off as being chilled from the cold air that both men had brought in.

"No idea, but you know Jasper. It could be anything," I reminded him as I bumped against him while navigating down my narrow hallway. I could almost feel him nodding in agreement without him speaking a word as we both entered the small kitchen.

"Drink up," Jasper announced as he handed us a bottle of hard cider followed by a shot glass filled to the brim with amber colored liquid. I greedily took the bottle from him taking a sip of the sweet hard cider for downing the cinnamon whiskey shot in a rush. The burn caused me to choke earning a laugh from the blonde standing before me.

"What are we celebrating?" Edward asked in a hoarse voice that told me he had done the same with the drinks that were offered.

"What are we not celebrating?" Jasper countered with a laugh as he turned towards the table loaded down with food that I had missed work to order for them.

"Love, relationships and the idea that there is one perfect person out there combined with the fear that I have already fucked that up without ever meeting him," I offered with a laugh as I felt the burn of alcohol enter my system from the potent shot.

"There we go," Jasper called out happily while waving a chicken wing at me. "I knew you would understand, Bella."

"You worry about that stuff?" Edward asked me with a surprised look on his handsome face that I tried to ignore as I handed him a paper plate to use instead of his fingers.

"Of course she does," Jasper chimed in for me while I remained silent. "Don't we all?"

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading & for taking a chance on this story as I attempt to keep sane in the midst of editing The Lost.**

**The chapters will vary in length depending on the scene. **

**Crazy love to you all,**

**Mamasutra**


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

"Oh my god, not this movie again," I groaned as the opening credits of Taken filled my small TV screen. We had watched this movie countless times. It was Jasper's go to movie since he had some sort of man crush on Liam Neeson.

"You shut your mouth, woman," Jasper countered as Edward laughed from the kitchen while I made barfing noises to block out the sounds of the movie. "Liam Neeson is a fucking god."

"This movie is bullshit," I countered back as I moved over on the couch to make room for Edward who had returned with food for us to share. I greedily took the plate from his hands as he sat down beside me before grabbing a wing to devour.

"You told me to bring a movie, and I brought a movie," Jasper defended as I looked at Edward who only smiled and shook his head.

"I think she was asking for something with more of a Valentine's Day theme," Edward tried to explain for me, even though that was a damn lie. I wanted nothing to do with romance or love on this most hated night for lovers.

"The movie starts in Paris. It's the city of love, right? What more do you want for a Valentine's Day movie?" Jasper demanded as I turned towards Edward with one of the cubes of cheese he had stacked upon the plate.

"The movie is about human trafficking," Edward reminded him before motioning for me to throw the cheese cube into his mouth.

"No, the movie is about a badass former government operative who kills everyone who gets in his way of what he wants," Jasper corrected with a smug smile. "It's a love story really. Sure, it's about a parent's love for their child, but a love story never the less."

"And it's not Valentine Day material at all," Edward shook his head in a mocking manner.

"No, it is not," I agreed in a haughty tone while Jasper took another shot of Fireball before passing the bottle to me to review mine and Edward's shot glasses.

"Okay asshole," Jasper muttered through the burn that always followed the spicy shot. "What would you pick?"

Without batting an eye or even pausing after tossing back the shot I had poured for him Edward responded with confidence.

"Blue Valentine."

"What?"

"You heard me," Edward continued on over Jaspers cries of disbelief and my giddy laughter that always came after a few drinks. "It's the perfect Valentine's Day movie."

"Why? Because it tells the tale of a loveless relationship built on broken dreams and misery? Just like every relationship you've ever been in, right Edward?" Jasper asked with a laugh as I quickly down the shot I had poured. I closed my eyes against the burn of the alcohol and waited for the warmth that always followed. I hated it when they talked about Edward and whatever girl he had bothered to date in the past. I never wanted to know who he deemed worthy to spend his time with. It was just easier that way even if it didn't make any sense and often made me appear to be slightly crazy.

"No way," Edward shook his head emphatically with a serious look on his face. "Besides I haven't been out on a date in..."

"Hate sex," I blurted out causing Jasper to choke on the swig of hard cider that he had attempted to swallow before erupting in laughter. I had to change the subject and the one thing I had learned from all my time with this too the easiest way to change the subject was to mention sex. It was my go to move when it came to controlling the conversation with these two and while Edward was aware of this, much to his credit, he did not react. Instead, he just nodded his head as if somehow we had discussed the topic of hate sex and the movie Blue Valentine. Maybe we had during one of our late night conversation. I couldn't remember and it didn't matter since Edward played along perfectly.

"Hate sex," he repeated seriously while Jas continued to laugh at me. "Nothing says Happy Valentine's Day like hate sex."

"Yeah," Jas murmured slowly in a disbelieving manner as he continued to shake his head at the both of us. "Okay, well with that in mind, I'm out of here."

"What?" I practically cried while nearly spitting out a mouth full of cider onto Edward's leg that was propped upon my lap.

"I have a date, unlike you too losers," Jasper gloated as I turned to look at Edward who only shrugged, but it was a guilty shrug. He knew that Jasper was going to bail on us, but had failed to tell me for some reason. I didn't know why and from the look on his face I wasn't sure if I wanted to know why.

"Who is this date with?" I asked as I looked from Edward's guilty expression to Jasper who was grinning like the Cheshire cat.

"You remember Jane from Starbucks?" he asked as the image of a tiny blonde with ice cold blue eyes flashed before my eyes.

"The bitch that kept calling me Stella?" I demanded, earning a loud snicker from Jasper while Edward remained strangely silent.

"That was an honest mistake," Jasper explained as I rolled my eyes at him before taking another drink from the bottle in my hand.

"Honest mistake my ass."

"Nowhere have we ever agreed that this weird anti-love ritual takes precedence over the opportunity to get laid," Jasper stated as I shook my head at him before turning to look at Edward who was watching me with a curious look upon his face.

"Are you leaving me too?" I demanded from him as our met over the bowl popcorn that he had made for me. The booze in my system ran hot and cold as I tried to hide the hurt in my tone, but I knew he could hear it from the scowl filtered through his fine features before a teasing grin settled into place.

"No, you've got me all night long. You know, just the way you like it" he teased me with a wink that was so ridiculously horrible with its flirtatiousness and so against how he typically behaved that I could not stop the laughter that bubbled up from within.

"Alright then," Jasper announced with a shake of his head as he looked from Edward to me before he stood up to leave. There was a sway in his step from the whiskey that only added my laughter. "I'll leave you two to your hate sex."

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**No beta... Mistakes are all mine.**

**I will be updating in a bit, but first have to deal with the kids since they are off on a snow day. Wish me luck lol…**

**XOXO**

**Mamasutra**


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

A silence fell over us as the movie played and I would find myself stealing quick glances of Edward as he lounged on the opposite end of the couch from me. His long legs took all the free space as we watched _Taken_ for what had to the thousandth time. He was preoccupied with whatever was on the screen leaving me free to stare.

Edward hadn't really changed that much in the last five years. Sure, he was taller and I think maybe more muscular, but the true essence of Edward was still the same. He was still the guy with a quick smile that stole my heart. He was still first one to apologize when we fought and the last person I would speak to at night. He had infiltrated every aspect of my life and it all started freshmen year of college in Currier Hall at the University of Iowa. He was Jasper's roommate and new to the area from the suburbs of Chicago. I was just local girl who hated everyone from Chicago. Needless to say it was not a match made in heaven.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked me, pulling me out of my memories of college nights that seemed endless at the time.

"I was thinking about the night we met," I admitted and then watched a small smile play upon his lips. I knew he was holding back the laughter that always came along with that memory.

The night we met I was actually looking for Jasper. He had sent me a link to a book on Amazon that was mermaid erotica. A normal person would have laughed this off, but being that I was not normal I went to confront him over his poor book choice. I was in mid-rant mode, going on about a merman gang bang, when I barged into their room only to find a surprised looking Edward sitting on his bed surrounded by books and papers. Jasper had told me about his roommate. He had mentioned that Edward was a cool guy and that he should hang out with us, but he failed to mention that his roommate had the face of an angel.

Once I realized how stupid I looked I stopped talking, ending my rant without finishing the sentence. I made an effort to turn and runaway from the pretty boy, but it was too late. He had witnessed my weirdness and there was nothing I could do, but stand there like an idiot while this too cute of a boy stared at me with an amused look on his face.

_"You must be Bella," the boy began slowly as I inched my way back towards the door to run. "Jasper has told me all about you."_

That admission was damning since I had no idea what Jasper had told him. Even to this day no matter how many times I have begged him to tell me, I still had no idea what lies Jasper had whispered in his ear about me, I just knew that was our beginning.

"Mermen gang bang, huh?" he asked as I rolled my eyes.

"You can laugh all you like merfolk are scary and that… that story or whatever the hell it was he sent me was just fucked up," I sputtered defending my reaction to that shitty story that now had become our story.

"Uh huh," he agreed mockingly while grabbing my foot with his strong hands. I bit back the sigh that threatened to end my righteous indignation as he began to massage my foot in the most wonderful way possible.

"We've had this conversation, Edward, and you know how I feel about merpeople," I reminded him as he snickered at me while rubbing at the arch of my feet.

"Yes, you're biased against merpeople, I remember," he added with a grin as I rolled my eyes at him.

"You shut up, it's not like they're even real," I countered back in a snotty tone as he watched me with a knowing grin.

"Is that why you won't swim in the ocean or go on a cruise?" he asked while not bothering to hide his laughter at me and my refusal to go more than thigh deep in the ocean.

"No, that's because of Shark Week," I countered back causing him to cackle with laughter. "Laugh all you want, but sharks will eat you and maybe I value my life too much to risk it."

"Okay," he snorted while shaking his head, but I could see he didn't believe me.

"Yeah okay," I mocked causing him to laugh again before continuing to rub at the insole of my foot. The sensation of his touch combined with the alcohol induced relaxation was almost caused a moan to escape from my lips.

"Value your life," he scoffed with a slight laugh as his fingers moved along my foot up to ankle. "I think it has everything to do with the mermen gang bang."

"Damn it, Edward, how many times do we have to go over this?" I sighed with not nearly as much exasperation as what was needed to get my point across.

"It was a human girl. A _human girl_ that was the center of the merman gang bang and that's… that's just so wrong."

His laughter was loud and carried over the crappy movie that we had left on because we both were too lazy to get up to change it.

"Yes, of course, wrong," he agreed with laughter.

"And… and the one had a dick that tasted like shrimp. Shrimp, Edward. It was making her hungry for fucks sake," I practically yelled the same senseless argument that I had presented years as to why this book was horrible and somewhat frightening. My nonsensical yelling only added to amusement as he continued to laugh at me.

"And I bet if I look on your phone right now that book is still on your Kindle app," he teased me, earning a kick to the thigh with my free foot.

"You're an asshole," I muttered, hating that he was right since that damn story could still be found in my list of kindle books.

"Maybe… But that doesn't explain your merman fetish," he laughed as I muttered whatever to his teasing.

"I don't have a merman fetish," I laughed before downing another shot of Fireball while Edward followed suit. I felt what was left of my filter melt away with the burn that followed the shot. "I mean, interspecies sexing is not something on my bucket list, you know?"

I watched as Edward bit his lip in effort to tone down his laughter, but it did little to hide it.

"But maybe they have the right idea," I sighed causing his laughter to erupt into the loud and lively noise that had caught my attention years ago.

"Yeah, who can say no to a good gang bang," he agreed while trying to be serious, yet failing miserably as laughter broke through his words.

"Not that you idiot," I corrected him with a laugh since it was impossible not to laugh at the ridiculousness of our conversation. "But maybe sex without strings attached is not such a bad thing."

My words caused his laughter to sputter for a moment as he motioned for me to continue on with my most fucked up idea while he tried to catch his breath once more.

"Let's face it, I haven't had a very good track record when it comes to love," I admitted with a laugh as he shook his head at me.

"Bella, it wasn't you. It was them," Edward tried to assure me, but that was just a kind lie.

"No, it was me," I laughed. "Do you remember Jacob?"

I knew he would never forget Jacob, especially considering how we ended.

"Any guy who doesn't want you is insane," Edward responded.

"Edward, he wanted you," I reminded him as I thought back to my last boyfriend who wooed me with his sweet smile and bad boy motorcycle only to make a pass at Edward.

"And I said no," he stated emphatically as if that was the end of things and really it was. Jacob admitted to being bi and while that was no big deal, what was the big deal was that he broke with me because he wanted Edward. I couldn't blame him, but that didn't mean that it didn't hurt.

"Mike," I stated as I watched Edward shake his head.

Mike was a guy I dated in college who claimed to allergic to my vagina. His insisting that I had a toxic snatch did wonders for my self esteem.

"Any guy that is allergic to vaginas isn't worth your time, Bella."

"Ben."

Ben was the last guy I dated. He worked at funeral home, which was no big deal to me. It only became a big deal when he insisted that I take a cold bath before sex.

"I still think you should report him to police for being a possible necrophiliac," he stated with shiver and sad shake of his head.

"They didn't love me," I reminded him, earning an understanding nod in agreement.

"And thank god for that," he muttered as I felt him slowly move his soothing massage from my ankle up to the calf of my leg.

"That's what I'm saying, Edward. Maybe I should be looking just for the random hook up instead of Mr. Perfect."

"Bella, none of those guys were right for you," he stated simply before taking a deep breath. "There is a guy who is right for you. I know this for fact. As a matter of fact…"

"No there's not," I insisted as I shook my head in defiance. "And don't you dare try to hook me up with some loser engineer that you work with."

"I wasn't going to do that," he whispered softly as I felt his fingers trace over the muscle of my calf once more.

"I think that I should just realize that there is no one out there for me and accept the fact that I am doomed to one night stands," I explained with a nod of my head while Edward continued to stare at me.

"Have you ever had a one night stand?" he asked me in such a serious tone that my stomach flip-flopped with nerves.

"No," I stated defensively as I suddenly felt bad over something that I had always mocked. "Have you?"

Edward didn't need to say the words for me to know. The guilty look on his face said it all.

"You're disgusting," I spat with irrational anger as I thought about Edward slipping away with some girl at a party that we both had attended only to fuck and chuck her.

"It was the summer before college and it made things every… awkward," he muttered with a hollow laugh before looking at me. "I haven't done anything like that since…. you."

"Well, you're still a pig," I snorted as I felt ridiculously glad that it wasn't since we had been friends. I knew he had girlfriends, people he had dated here and there, but somehow the idea of a one night stand when he spent most nights with me was painful.

"You don't have the heart for it, Bella," he continued on, trying his best to move on from the fact that he had been a pig even it was years ago.

"I'll learn," I laughed nervously before turning back towards the crappy the movie that played on for us. "I mean, how hard can it be? It's just sex, right?"

Edward remained silent while I refused to look at him since I knew if I did he would call me out on my lack of courage to behave so badly.

"You really want to do this?" he asked me, catching me off guard with his question since I was expecting anything from him except that.

"I just think that..." I began, ready to defend my whiskey soaked idea as I turned to face him once more, but it was pointless. Edward interrupted me before I had a chance to even finish my thought.

"Because if you do, I'm in," he stated simply as if it were nothing to ask for sex even though it was the suggestion of sex that almost ended our friendship years ago.

"What?" I screeched in a tone that made the word almost impossible to understand as I tried to put some space between us, but he refused it by holding on to my leg with his tight grip.

"I'm just saying if you are going to just start randomly having sex with whatever guy comes around then why not me?"

It was an interesting question since I could not begin to count the amount of time that I thought about sex with him. I had always wondered if he would be serious and have the same attention to detail that he gave everything else in his life. I wanted to know what his lips tasted like and what he sounded like when he came. These questions had haunted me over the years, not that I was about to try to act upon them again. The one time ended in epic failure and that was enough to last me lifetime.

"Are you fucking crazy?" I practically shouted at him causing him to laugh at my over the top reaction to what he was suggesting.

"Maybe," he agreed before pausing for a moment. "You know it's not a bad idea. We know each other. It would be safe and god help me if I haven't thought about it over the years."

"Sex with me? You've thought about sex with _me_?"

Edward ignored my stunned question as he sat up and leaned closer to me, crossing the space that was always between us when we sat on the couch together.

"Say yes," he insisted as if he could bend me to his will just by demanding it. The sad part was that I wanted to say yes. It would have been easy to say yes, yet I couldn't. The risk was too high.

"I don't think…" I began slowly as I looked into his eyes. They were so green and bright from the whiskey we had been drinking.

"Don't think, just say yes," he encouraged me as I shook my head no. "What are you scared of?"

"Losing you," I confessed instantly as I stared into his vibrant green eyes, letting him hypnotize me into this bad decision.

"That could never happen," he assured me with more the same confidence that had always drawn me to him.

"I just think it's a bad idea," I whispered softly as I looked at him, willing him to understand without me having to explain.

"If this is about that night in my room, Bella, I swear to god," he began only for me to rush to silence him before the old embarrassment swallowed me alive.

"You promised me we would never discuss it again," I practically cried as I felt tear prickling at my eyes over him mentioning what would always be the most embarrassing night of my life. "You promised me it was in the vault, Edward, you promised, remember?"

The panic in my tone caused him to stop talking even if it were only for a moment; sparing me from reliving the one night I had begged him to forget. Regret burned bright in his eyes as he brought his thumb up to wipe away a stray tear as it made its way down my cheek.

"Don't be scared," he tried to soothe me, but I wasn't in mood to be soothed.

"I'm not scared," I snorted with a smile trying my best to down play the emotion of the moment with my laughter. "I mean, its fact you couldn't please me so you know."

"A fact?" he questioned with a grin as he played along with my false bravado without batting an eye.

"Oh yeah, everyone know this," I teased him as I watched a slow grin form on his lips.

"Everyone?"

"Yes, everyone."

My bull shit avoidance of a night that almost wrecked everything between us was slowly bringing the laughter back to his eyes when he called me on it.

"That sounds like a challenge to me, Bella," he stated with a serious look that was marred by his bright grin.

"Take it for what you want," I laughed, pleased as fuck that my lame attempt at avoiding the past had worked. I leaned back against the pillows, leaving him sitting upright as he watched me with a smile.

"Okay, a challenge it is," Edward grinned happily before leaning back once more as if he had won something. "I'm thinking our first date could be this Saturday. I would say let's go tonight, but we've done the whole drunk thing before so I want you sober."

"Wait… What?"

"You heard me. Saturday night it's going down or should I say I'm going down. Would that make you feel better?" he snickered as I sat there slack jawed over what the hell just happened.

"You said I could take it any way I wanted and I'm taking this as a challenge, Bella," Edward explained with a laugh.

"You don't… You don't…" I sputtered trying to come up with an argument against this, but failed miserably.

"I don't know you?" he tried to finish my sentence as I continued to trip over my tongue for him. "I know you better than you know yourself and because of that I have no doubt that I will fulfill every one of your fantasies."

I found my voice in the form of laughter as he spoke.

"Now you can fulfill fantasies?" I asked him, unable to contain my laughter as I tried to find my way out of this mess. "Just because you read an article in Cosmo while waiting to get your teeth cleaned doesn't mean that you could fulfill anyone's fantasies, let alone mine."

My mocking words did little to wipe the grin off Edward's handsome face as he just shook his head at me.

"Wait and see, Swan. Wait and see."

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Once more no beta & it shows.**

**For those interested the Mermaid gang bang book… It's real and yes, I have read it. **

**For reference purposes it's called Mounted and Bred by the Mermen By Clea Kinderton.**

**Maybe another update later….**

**Crazy love to you all,**

**Mamasutra**


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Friday mornings were difficult at Truman Elementary School. They would start with all the students meeting in the gym for a pep rally of sorts that was supposed to promote school spirit. I can't say that within the wall of my first grade class room that school spirit was ever increased, but I could tell you the kids loved these rallies. Typically, I loved the rallies as well, but that day not so much as the singing of the school song by a mass of unorganized kids only added to headache.

I looked across the way to Jasper, who was a fifth grade teacher and found him clapping along to the music with a smile like he hadn't a care in the world. It did nothing for my mood.

"Who pissed in your Cheerios?"

The low whisper of the other first grade teacher in my ear caused me to jump as I turned to find Rosalie McCarty waiting for my response with a smirk on her face. She was my counterpart in the school and probably the first female friend I had in ages even though she was at least ten years older than me. We had worked out a good relationship of me listening about her husband and kids while she laughed at what she called my little girl problems.

"I don't eat Cheerios; only babies and old people eat that crap."

Her laughter rang out just as the kids finished the last screechy notes of the school song.

"See you at lunch," she said as I turned to face the twenty little faces that I was responsible to mold into good human beings. "You can tell me all about your Valentine's Day party then."

The mentioning of me having a party sent ten tiny voices that had overheard that statement into excitement overload as they questioned me about my party.

"What did you do?"

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"Are you getting married?"

"Doesn't anyone love you Ms. Swan?"

These were not questions I wanted to face while fighting off a whiskey hangover and wearing an obnoxious pink sweater with white hearts all over it in honor of our school valentine's day party. I glared at Rose, silently willing her to choke on her own tongue for unleashing this hell upon me since nothing was worse than a bunch of six years olds playing quiz master concerning your love life.

"No, I don't have a boyfriend and I'm not getting married," I explained sweetly as I traded in my death glare to smile at my kids. "Of course someone loves me. My parents love me just like your parents love you, but right now is not the time to discuss my life. Right now is time to go back to the room and start our reading."

It was just enough to get me off the hook and place the kids back into the school mode that I needed them to be in to make it through the day.

Lunch time finally arrived and with it came the light at the end of the tunnel that the day was almost over. It the idea of I was down to a few hours before I was free for the weekend even though that idea terrorized me. It was horrible since after Edward declared that we were on for Saturday even though I had refused to agree to it, he never spoke another word of it. We watched the rest of the movie as well as the equally atrocious sequel together making fun of Jasper and his love of Liam Neeson. We ended the night with him sleeping on my couch while I tossed and turned in my bed. It was a perfectly normal movie night for us and while I was relieved that he didn't speak of his offer of hot monkey sex, I was also disappointed.

"So?" Rosalie greeted me as I walked into the teacher's lounge with my lunch sack in hand just like I did day after school day.

"I watched movies with Jasper and Edward," I deadpanned, trying down play her weird excitement over my lame ass life. It worked very well considering I watched her pretty face fall into a disappointed scowl as she looked from me to frozen dinner lunch she was trying to eat.

"That's it?" she asked me with a glimmer of hope in her blue eyes that somehow I was holding back on her and I was. She would have had a field day with the offer of sex from Edward considering she had deemed him very fuck-able the day I brought him to our school picnic.

"Well, unless you count Jasper's weird fascination with Liam Neeson there's really nothing to tell," I shrugged as I pulled out a container of pizza rolls that Edward had packed for me last night.

"I always knew that little fucker was weird," she mumbled in-between bites of her meal.

"Who's weird?" Jasper asked as he appeared in the door way with a wide smile.

"You," Rose stated as she shook her head at him in mock disgust.

"Oh Rosie, you can shake your head all you want, but we both know that this," he said as he motioned towards her with a wave of his hand. "This supposed disgust you have for me is nothing but a front for the unbridled lust you feel whenever you see me."

I watched Rose's face contort in anger as Jasper laughed at her reaction.

"It's okay, baby, I get that all the time," he mockingly soothed her.

"Not even in your wildest dreams little man," Rose snorted with amused anger as we both watched Jasper's smile fade as his face turned bright red. Jasper had very few weak spots that could be used when mocking him, but his stature was definitely one. Being that he was less than six feet tall was a sore point for him that Rosalie exploited often.

"You… You just shut up," he mumbled angrily as he made a beeline for the fridge. I watched him grab a can of Diet Coke from the box that he stashed in there while trying to hide my amusement.

"Hey," he said turning to face me as I smoothed my features into an expression of blank emotions. "Check your phone. Edward's been trying to get in touch with you."

"I…" I fumbled for words as I pulled my phone out of my pocket to find five text messages waiting for me.

"He said he'll probably be late for the game," Jasper commented as I looked over the texts he had sent.

_How are you feeling?_

_ Thank you for the Advil you left out for me : )_

_ Hope you like cold pizza rolls._

_ I'll be late tonight, but I'll be there_

_ What's your dress size?_

"Something about he's picking up stuff for something you two have planned on Saturday?" Jasper asked as I choked on the bite of pizza roll that I had taken.

"He said what?" I managed to say while hacking up the pizza roll that I had inhaled by mistake.

"Yeah, and thanks for not inviting me along," Jasper bitched with a grin as I took a swig of the bottle water that Rose had suddenly set in front of me. "It's no big deal I guess. I mean, I have plans to get laid _again._ You remember Jane from the coffee shop?"

"What did he say?" I asked him again only to have him ignore me.

"Yeah, that's right the girl cannot get enough of me," he gloated as if I gave a shit about his disease infested sex life.

"The poor girl," Rose murmured causing Jasper to stop with his reveling on about the bitch from the coffee shop.

"You're just jealous," he shot back to her sparking a new round of insults to volley between them while I was left wondering what the hell Edward was planning even though I had told him not to.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**I hope to update again later.**

**XOXO**

**Mamasutra**


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

Saturday.

Normally I rejoiced when Saturday came around. I would lounge in bed and read. I would wander our small city, spending time in the bookstore followed by lunch with friends. It was the day of the week that was mine alone to spend any way I wanted, yet as I woke up on Saturday morning I was filled will nervous dread.

"You should have told him no," I mumbled out loud to myself, lamenting over the fact that previous night I had a chance to back out of this mess only to fuck it up.

_Edward had arrived late as he had promised, but what I wasn't expecting was how normal he was acting. It made no sense to me since could barely form a sentence and was tripping over my own feet every time I came within two feet of him, yet Edward was as calm as ever. It was odd and somewhat disheartening since I had told myself that this ridiculous made up challenge of his would be stopped just from awkwardness alone, but it had appeared that I was wrong._

_ I waited until Dad was preoccupied with Mom over arguing about pizza toppings to question him._

_ "So this means we're off right?" I asked in a low whisper, hoping like hell that mom and dad wouldn't hear me. _

_ "Off for what?" he asked, answering me with a sneaky whisper and an innocent look on his face._

_ "You know what I mean," I hissed as I looked over his shoulder to see if Dad was nearby, thankfully he wasn't._

_ "Oh, if you mean that I am not going to fulfill one of your ten fantasies then let me tell you that's a no," he whispered softly with a pleased grin._

_ "Come on," I whined automatically before falling silent as I realized what he had said. "What do you mean ten? How do you know there are ten?"_

_ "So you are confirming that you have a top ten list of sexual fantasies?" he asked with a smug grin that only fueled my ire._

_ "I'm confirming nothing," I spat at him, earning myself low chuckle as he just shook his head at me. The smile on his face was a soft teasing one that would have been almost adorable if he wasn't so damn annoying with what he was implying._

_ "I just thought that since we were out of college and supposedly adults that you would be able to let go of your childish need to be right at all cost," I stated with a grin that matched the sweetness of the one Edward was giving me. It did little to faze him as he just shook his head at me as in a mockingly disappointed manner._

_ "Bella, Bella, Bella," he sighed dramatically as he leaned closer to me, crossing the invisible line that separated my space from his. It was unnerving and exciting in the most horrible manner possible. "You told me that you wanted no strings attached sex."_

_ "I did, but…"_

_ "What? You changed your mind? Found a better offer?"_

_ "No," I hiss at him and then watched him smile softly._

_ "Scared that maybe I'll ruin you for any other man?"_

_ "No…" I began to blindly refute whatever it was Edward was going to ask before actually realizing what it was that he had said. Once his words sunk in I could not stop that laughter that followed, almost making it impossible to respond. "What?" Ruin me for any other man? You wish."_

_ "That sounds like another challenge to me, Bella," Edward chuckled, ending our conversation just as Dad appeared with beers in hand._

Once Dad came back into the room there was no more time to discuss our supposed sex date. It was later when Edward left with a promise to call me in the afternoon, ending my chance to back out for once and for all. The good girl side of me knew that I still had time to end this mess. I could easily call him and tell him that I can't go through this with. It would be simple and knowing Edward, not another word would be spoken about this almost mistake involving sex. I knew this within my heart; the problem was that being with him was the one thing I had always wanted. This epic mistake in the making appeared to be my only chance to fulfill that long overdue fantasy so there was no way that I could say no to him.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading and the warm welcome of this story.**

**Crazy love to you all!**

**Mamasutra**


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

I had barely stumbled out of the shower when I heard the doorbell ringing alerting me that I had a visitor. I wasn't expecting anyone, not even Edward since it had sent a text telling me that we would meet at the Blackhawk Hotel for dinner and whatnot. We had dinner together most weekends so that wasn't a big deal. It was the whatnot that had me tripping over myself with nerves.

The ringing of the door bell had faded into a violent banging on the door by the time I had slipped on a shirt and yoga pants to face whom ever it was had chosen to pay me a visit.

"What the hell, Bella?" a shrill female voice demanded as I jerked open the door to find Rosalie McCarty standing there while balancing two cups of what appeared to be coffee.

"What are you doing here?" I asked as I opened the door so she could come inside and out of the cold hallway. "I thought you had basketball games all day with the kids."

"I did, but then I changed my mind," she snorted softly while breezing past me, only pausing long enough to hand off one of the cups.

"And Emmett's okay with that?" I inquired only to have her laugh in response. "I guess that's a yes."

I knew all too well how much she hated that all day tournaments even though she loved her kids.

"Yeah, he let me off the hook for a while as long as I'll be back for the championship game at four," Rosalie explained from the kitchen as I listened to her rummaging through my cupboards for something to eat.

"That's cool since I have plans too," I stated, letting the words roll off my tongue even though it still felt wrong to say. Was it really plans when the goal of the evening was to end up in bed with Edward?

"What? Jasper talked you into carrying around his step stool at the bars so he can talk to women like a big boy," she chuckled to over her lame ass joke while I shook my head at her.

"No, "I laughed nervously as I leaned upon the door frame, watching my friend heat up some left over pizza that I had in the fridge. "I have plans with Edward."

Just saying his name caused my throat to close around the word as I tried to act as if nothing was wrong.

"Oh," she mumbled before turning back to look at me. Maybe it was the sick expression on my face or the fact that I was on the verge of hyperventilating that tipped her off that something was wrong. "You wanna tell me what's going on?"

I really didn't yet the moment I opened my mouth I told her everything. It was stupid and somewhat sordid as I explained how this whole mess came about. I felt dumb as I continued to tell her about a crush on a boy that spanned five years, multiple vacations, and one summer that we actually lived together. Much to Rosalie's credit she remained silent, only nodding her head or making a face that suggested that she understood my unrequited crush, lust or whatever the hell it was that was between Edward and me. She waited until I had told her everything before speaking.

"So let me get this straight," she asked me slowly as I took a tearful slip from the tepid coffee she had brought for me. "Five years of wanting this guy, multiple opportunities and you never acted on one of them?"

"I didn't say that," I admitted slowly as the image of Edward's face faced before my eyes. I could see him hovering above me with wide eyed lust and kiss swollen lips. I could almost the Jagermeister on my tongue as it burned me with its disgusting licorice taste that forever more would remind me of vomiting.

"So what happened?" she asked me softly, almost as if she was scared to ask and she should have been since she had to know what the answer was. I could have told her the details, but even now five years later the details made me nauseous.

"He said no," I shrugged as if it were no big deal and not the most embarrassing moment of my life.

"He said no?" she questioned while I stood up to seek out something other than continuing this conversation with her.

"Yes, he said no," I stated simply before the burn that always followed that rejection took my breath away.

"And now he wants to?" she asked as I grabbed my cardboard cup and took another long sip of the candy sweet brew.

"Yeah, I guess. I mean, he offered, but I guess I was the one who mentioned it first…" I stammered as I tried to explain what lead to this weird moment in time where I was prepping for sex with the one guy I had always wanted to be with.

"Wait," she insisted as she held up her hands as if that would stop my rambling. "Start over."

"I told him that maybe forever love was not in the cards for me," I began earning a loud snort from my older friend. I knew what she thought on that matter since her and I had this conversation before. She was the one always reminding me that boys were dumb, and it took until her husband was almost thirty before he had enough common sense to come in from the rain.

"That's when I mentioned that maybe I should just go for sex with attachments, one night stands, something like that," I sighed nervously as I looked away from her while the nerves pit in my stomach bloomed into a twisted sense of embarrassment over my confession to her.

"And this is where he volunteered his services, right?" Rose quickly interrupted with a wicked smirk.

"Yeah, I guess," I admitted softly, feeling more stupid with each passing minute.

"How mighty big of him to offer to fuck you like that," she snickered against the plastic lid of her coffee. "And they say chivalry is dead."

"Stop," I demanded weakly as she continued to laugh at the situation I was in.

"So what do you want to do?" she asked, catching me off guard with her question.

"What do you mean?" I counted back as I watched her pick at the last piece of pizza on the plate.

"I mean, what do you want to do?" she asked me before taking a bite of the pepperoni pizza slice.

"You know you don't have to do this right?" she reminded me with a mouth full of food as I gripped my coffee a little tighter.

I did know this. I had thought about. I had told myself that I should have insisted on no and had even worked out how I could still put an end to this fuckery, yet I hadn't. I hadn't done any of it because I wanted this too.

After five years of longing to be something more than just Edward's friend I was finally given the opportunity. It was the same damn option that I had tried for years ago only to be told no. I couldn't say no. I should, but I couldn't. I wanted it too much even though I knew it was wrong.

"I know, but I want to," I confessed slowly while she watched me closely.

"Oh yeah, I can tell how bad you want it from the pained expression on your face," she mocked while watching me closely.

"I do. I do want him. I always have since the first night we spent together getting drunk and talking about everything under the sun. I have wanted it so bad, but… but…" I rambled as she nodded her head as if she knew the story I was telling her.

"But you're scared," she finished for me, spearing me the embarrassment of admitting that out loud. "What are you scared of?"

Without thinking I responded, telling her my biggest fear.

"That I'll lose him. That everything will change. That we won't be able to be around each other ever again since it will wreck everything that I have worked so hard to keep with him," I blurted out in a rush of words that did not seem to faze her at all, but truth be told very little fazed Rosalie. She was a rock in my world that I depended on to keep me grounded.

"Bella, no matter what you decide things will change between you and Edward," she explained slowly as if she were scared over how I would react to her words. "That's life."

"But…" I began as she talked over the top of my words.

"Let's say you don't and both of you go on your merry ways, eventually one of you will find someone else," she stated simply with a shrug as if this foreign future she spoke of was set in stone. "You can't have a friendship like this forever, but it's not really friendship. You want him so when he chooses another girl you'll disappear and he'll just become the guy you speak of with your girl friends when you discuss guys that could have been the one."

"Well aren't you just a ray of fucking sunshine," I muttered, earning a laugh from her.

"I'm just telling you the truth even if its truth you don't want to face," she laughed at me while I drained my cup of coffee.

"So you think that I should do this?" I demanded with a scowl. "You think I should just fuck my friend and let the chips fall where they may?"

"I just think if you do this then… Well, at least you'll know," she said with a firm nod of her head as if she had somehow made up her mind in this mess.

"I'll know what?" I asked in a sharp tone that caused her to smile.

"If he's worth it or not," she laughed as if the answer was obvious, but to me I had no idea.

"Worth it?" I repeated as she nodded.

"Yes, worth it," she restated with a smile. "Have you ever thought that maybe he wasn't worthy of you?"

"No," I confessed with embarrassment as she smiled in response.

"You should because in case you've forgotten, you Bella Swan, are pretty fucking amazing and I know a lot of people who would agree with that statement," she assured me as I rolled my eyes at her cheesy compliment that was meant to boast my self esteem.

"Yeah, okay, Rose," I muttered as I waved her and her weirdo compliment off. "Is that all you got?"

"That and nothing ventured, nothing gained?" she presented with a laugh as I joined her.

"Yeah," I snickered before tossing a waded up paper towel at her face.

"Besides you need a good fucking. You get so bitchy when you're horny so maybe I should be calling Edward to thank him in advance for tonight," she teased as I gave her the finger before walking out of my tiny kitchen and into the front room to escape her. It didn't matter since she followed me with loud laughter.

Laughter was fine since I could joke about sex all I wanted. I could tell her about Edward and his lame ass promise to fulfill my top ten sexual fantasies. We could laugh and discuss which ones he probably would try based on what was in Cosmo last month. I could hear Rose go on about having to give her all the details the next day since she was certain that Edward was nicely hung based on the one time we went swimming with her and the kids. I could smile and allow her to fix my hair or approve of what I had planned on wearing. I could agree to let her do my make up as long as I looked like anyone but me since this was something so unlike what I would typically do when it came to sex or Edward. I could agree to anything if it meant that the laughs kept coming, and it down played what was going to happen that night.

It wasn't until she was done and handed me the mirror so I could see the elegant bun that sat up on the nape of my neck and the winged eyeliner that made me look more vampy than school teacher like. Bella Swan as no where to be found and I was oddly relieved to discover that.

"Try not to touch your face before going and reapply the red lipstick before meeting him, but check to make sure none of it got on your teeth," she reminded me as she grabbed her purse to leave me be for the few hours I would be alone before meeting Edward at the hotel bistro and lounge.

"This is going to blow up in my face isn't it?" I asked her, bypassing her instructions so I could tackle my fear head on. Rosalie paused and looked at me for a moment before pulling me close for an awkward hug that would not mess up my hair that she had worked so hard to do.

"I don't know. If he's smart it won't," she whispered as she stepped back from me with a sad smile that only served to feed my fears. "But no matter what now you'll know, right? Good or bad. Forever or crash and burn, you'll know. That's worth something, Bella, since regrets are the only things that haunt us in life."

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading and taking a chance on this new story. Thank you to whom ever recommended this mess over at ADF. It means a lot that someone would suggest to read my ramblings. I hope to update later today.**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

I pulled my car into one of the parking spots for the Blackhawk Hotel. Its historic grandeur and elegant beauty intimidated me enough to linger in my car as I watched people enter the building. Their laughter did nothing to ease the knot in my stomach that had developed in the hours since Rose left me.

"Don't be a pussy," I muttered to myself, repeating what had become my mantra, before pulling down the vanity mirror to look at myself once more only to find the face that greeted me wasn't really my own. The woman in the mirror looked confident, and that was something I was severely lacking at the moment.

I slowly reapplied my lipstick before pulling my phone out to go over the instructions that Edward had texted me with. It was the only contact I had with him all day, not that I was complaining. I could barely hold a conversation with Rose so the idea of talking to Edward before all of this was too much.

_Be at the Blackhawk Hotel by seven. _

When I texted him back asking where to meet him or what should I expect from there Edward responded with a text back.

_I'll find you._

Simple, sweet and nothing to tell. I hated it since I was not someone who did well with surprises.

With one last look at my overly down face I got out of the car. The cold bite of winter stung my nylon covered legs as I walked as quickly and as gracefully as what was allowed in my red heels. It was a short walk to the inside of the lavishly remodeled hotel, but one that was filled with the worst kind of excitement as I found myself scanning the somewhat empty lobby for a sign of Edward, but he wasn't there. I waited for a moment, unsure as to what to do until finally giving up to go get a drink at the bar.

I had barely ordered a Moscow mule when I felt the chair next to me move. It caused me to jump with a fright while my heart threatened to jump out of my chest with excitement. I turned, expecting to find Edward sitting next to me, but instead was greeted with an older man who greeted me with a grunt instead of a greeting. His gray colored eyes met and held mine without any interest before waving the bartender down.

I was so surprised by this unexpected person that I was certain would be Edward that I missed the noise and motion on the other side announcing another's arrival. It wasn't until I took another sip of my drink that noticed the brown haired man at my side. He looked young, too handsome for words and completely oblivious to my staring. He was wearing his dark framed glasses and the dark charcoal suit his parents had bought him from graduation in hopes that he would get job closer to their home in Evanston before he opted to disappointment them by taking the government job that kept him close to me. I loved that damn suit on him and while I never told him that, I had to believe that he knew it and was using it to his advantage. The sad part was that I didn't care. I was too lost in how it made his board shoulders look or how the color seemed to brighten the blue in his eyes.

I waited for him to notice me as he played with the napkin under the bottle of beer he was drinking. He didn't keep me waiting long.

"Busy, huh?" he commented as he looked at me with a slight smile that was more playful than shy.

"Yeah, I guess," I shrugged as I looked around at the crowd that was there for dinner and drinks. "I wouldn't know. I've never been here before."

"Me neither."

After that we sat in silence that was thick with excitement. It was that same excitement that caused me to crack as I finally turned to look at him once more.

"So this is it huh?" I asked causing him to turn and look at me with a mock surprised look on his handsome face, but I could see the amusement in his eyes.

"This is your big idea of seduction? This is what you think I fantasize about? About meeting you for dinner at an overpriced hotel? You think this will get you into my panties?" I laughed as Edward watched me while trying to bite back a grin.

"I have no idea what you are talking about," he countered back with a grin that told me otherwise. "I'm only in town for business."

"Business?" I mocked as I watched him smile at my reaction.

"Yes, just here for the night and then back to my lonely existence in my hometown," he amended his story while I shook my head at his ridiculous cover story.

"Really?" I questioned as he sighed sadly in a dramatic manner.

"It's tough being alone, but I'm sure that's something that a beautiful woman like you would know nothing about," he lamented as he lied so smoothly I almost wanted to believe him.

Almost.

Until I remembered that this was some elaborate ruse to provide some sort fantasy for me while getting me into bed with him. It didn't matter. I was in. I was in the moment he sat down next to me.

"Yeah," I mumbled, nit bothering to hide the sarcasm that came along with his lame ass story that was meant to woo me.

"Where are my manners?" he mumbled with a grin as he held out his hand to me.

"I'm Clark. Clark Kent."

I took hold of his large hand with him for a firm handshake. It did little to prevent the giggle that escaped my lips over his new identity considering one drunken night I had once told him how much he resembled Superman. It was also with that nickname that O revealed my love of comic books and the rivalry between DC and Marvel. It was one of the many pointless arguments between Edward and me due to his loyalty to DC and my love of Marvel.

It was the perfect identity for this mess of an evening and left me revealing my own as I smiled and responded.

"Diana Prince. It's a pleasure to meet you."

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! I will post again in a bit. I just can't write smut while sitting in my kid's parochial school lunch room waiting for while she's in her Girl Scouts meeting. I swear to you the crucifix is eyeing me lol… either that or Catholic guilt is setting in… which is odd considering I'm Lutheran and not Catholic lol.**

**Until later….**

**XOXO**

**Mamasutra **


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Conversation flowed as we told lie after lie, reciting every Super Man and Wonder Woman story line we could remember. I listened and nodded as he told me about working for newspaper in a large city and the drudgery that came with it. He smiled as I explained that I was nurse in the army while eluding my demigoddess status with a simple statement that my parents were royalty. I knew full well he was not as fully supportive like I was of DC's reboot that changed Wonder Woman from starting as a clay figure to being naturally born so the sad shake of head had me laughing into my drink.

"So you're a princess?" he asked me with a straight face as he hid his grin behind the bottle of beer that the bartender brought.

"Oh yes, I am" I nodded as I nodded in agreement while the bartender silently asked if I needed another. "Can't you tell?"

"I can see that," he agreed while crossing the small space between us to take hold of my hand in his, breaking the no contact rule we had established years after my failed seduction of him, not that I was surprised by it.

Edward never followed my rules when it came to touching. He always found a way around it while playing innocent. He would give a foot massage, or wrap an arm around me while watching movies on the couch. It was almost normal for him to touch me, yet the not so surprise move caused me to jump with nervousness fright as he continued to hold my hand like it belonged in his. Maybe it was because this time there was an unspoken intention that came with his touch.

"Can you? Because I'm pretty sure a moment ago you had no idea," I teased breathlessly, trying to act as if nothing was out of the ordinary while I was melting inside from his touch while watching his fingers slowly caress mine. It was slowly and strangely seductive as he traced my fingers before interlacing his fingers with mine.

"I may not have known you were royalty, but I knew you were different since I've never met anyone like you before," he stated softly, but with a confidence that was purely Edward. His blue eyes watching me closely to for reaction while pulling me closer to him with his innocent touch.

"I bet you say that to every girl," I breathed out with a laugh that sounded off as he shook his head, denying my claim.

"No, never; the whole wooing women and playboy thing? That's not me," he grinned playfully, but there was sincerity in his voice that made my stomach twist into a knot of nervous energy. It was then that he switched up the conversation, going back to telling jokes that made me giggle while holding my hand in his.

It was light conversation that dealt with anything, but the idea of why we were there and I loved it. It made it easy to laugh and laughter was the one thing that we always had together. Laughter made the drinks follow and the touches grow bolder as I found myself tracing a pattern on his thigh while pressed against him. Edward didn't seem to mind my touchy-feeliness at all as he continued talking as if his hand wasn't up my dress, smoothing over my inner thigh. We continued on like this, playing a wierd version of foreplay dare that had always been off limits since that night of epic disaster until finally there was nothing to say and only so much more to do.

"You want to go up to my room?" he asked me in a low whisper that caused my breathing to hitch in my chest as I looked into his dark blue eyes. If he was worried that I would say no he hid it well since when I looked into his eyes all I could see was the low flame of want burning there.

There it was.

The offer.

The one moment that all this nonsense, the chasing, the pretending had been leading up to. I wanted to say something witty or smart-assy to remind him that it was still a game; that I was still in control. I wanted him to know that one night stands pretending to be anyone but us was fantastic. Sure, maybe he had guessed right about that fantasy and the one involving sex with a charming Clark Kent, but that was it. I wanted to say something that would make him laugh, but the problem was I wasn't thinking beyond how his skin would feel against mine. It made my answer so much simpler and so less bitchy than what I had envisioned it to be.

"Yes."

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! Sorry about the delay in posting. I didn't feel very sexy after listening to how cookie sales would be handled for my daughter's troop & I will not get into the side eye Jesus was giving me from the cross as I attempted write some sexy times while sitting near him. So yeah, more to come.**

**XOXO**

**Mamasutra**

**XOXO**


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

I waited impatiently while Edward settled our tab even though I told him I was fine to pay my own way.

"You know I have money too," I called out obnoxiously over his shoulder as he handed the bartender his credit card.

"I know you have money. I mean, you're a princess so of course you do," he tried to soothe me while the bartender left to process the payment.

"Don't you ever forget that," I mumbled, feeling stupid as he paid my way like always.

"You ready?" he asked as he turned back towards me with a slight smile that did nothing for my nerves.

Was I ready?

I had been ready since I was eighteen; yet knowing that it was all about to happen made me sick to my stomach.

"I think I'm going to throw up," I confessed as he took hold of my hand in his once more.

"No, you're not," he insisted, but from the skeptical look on his face it was clear he wasn't so sure either. I was left wondering if flashbacks of wearing my vomit plagued him like how it did me as we walked through the lobby towards the elevator.

"Not this time," he murmured as he pulled me closer as if to reinforce the idea that the night would be vomit free.

I looked around as we passed people only to find them staring at us as we made the long walk towards the elevator. I could practically feel their judgment pinning me to the marble floor beneath us.

"They know," I whispered to him as we continued to walk.

"They know what?"

"They know about us," I whispered as I felt panic welling up inside of me. It was a heavy feeling that swallowed me whole

"What are you talking about?" he asked in a confused voice as we finally stopped our mile long walk of shame towards the elevator. I barely was able to keep it together as Edward pushed the up button just as another older couple appeared waiting for the ride up the rooms. I watched him greet them with a polite smile as he held my hand firmly in his. It was the only sign that I had that he was possibly as nervous as what I was.

"People know we are going upstairs to shamelessly fuck and they are judging us. I can feel their judgment and it is horrible," I blurted out in a voice that much louder than the whisper I had intended as I unleashed the crazy upon Edward and the other couple that had joined us.

"We'll just take the next one," the older gentleman stated as he guided his wife away from us, but not before I noticed the appalled look upon her face.

"That sounds like a good plan," Edward agreed with an agreeable smile just as the doors opened for us to make our escape. He pulled me into the small area and quickly pressed the button to close the door behind us. We stood there, hands clasped tight together while silent and stewing in my self-induced embarrassment. We watched as the people who overheard my unplanned outburst stared in stunned horror.

"Oh my god," I muttered as the doors finally and mercifully closed. I looked over at Edward who met my gaze with an amused one of his own. "Do you think they heard me?"

The words had barely left my lips before Edward's laughter filled the surrounding space with its brightness. It was loud and strangely soothing in a tense situation that did nothing for my sick stomach.

"I'm pretty sure everyone in the lobby heard you," he assured me with a laugh while leaning against the wall next to me.

"Oh my god," I muttered as I brought my free hand up to cover my face even though Edward had witnessed my embarrassment more times than I could count in our five year friendship. As a matter of fact this bout of ridiculousness was nothing in comparison to some of the things he had seen me do.

I felt as he maneuvered me so that I was pinned between him and the wall. His body fit against mine as he pressed into me for a moment before he pulled my hand from my face in effort to make me look at him, but I refused by closing my eyes.

"Come on," he urged me as I felt his laughter before hearing it in his voice.

"Look at me," he urged as I shook my head while squeezing my eyes shut. "Come on, it's not that bad and you know it."

His casual dismissal of what had happened was enough to cause me to sputter awkwardly as I opened my eyes to challenge him.

"Not that bad?" I demanded as he laughed at me and my reaction. "I announced to everyone in the lobby that we were going upstairs to fuck."

"Oh I know you did, but you didn't see all the thumbs up I was getting from the old guys who were watching," he assured me with a slight smile as I gawked in horrified silence at him.

"What?" I muttered breathlessly in disbelief as he nodded his head solemnly.

"Oh sweet Jesus kill me now," I whispered as I crumpled against him, leaning into him and borrowing from the strength he always freely gave. Edward wrapped his arms around me, holding me close as I clung to him while willing myself dead.

"I'm kidding," he whispered against my neck with a laugh as he pinned me against the elevator wall. "I swear to god, I'm kidding."

"Oh thank god," I practically cried as he moved, putting just enough space between us to look at me without touching. His blue eyes were bright with laughter and something more that resembled that might have been lust as he looked me. He was so close I could practically taste the beer on his lips.

"I was worried that they heard me," I confessed stupidly as he leaned closer, so close that I thought he was going to kiss me, yet he didn't. He stopped short of his lips touching mine to stare at me with wide blue eyes.

"Bella…" he began slowly.

"Diana," I corrected him causing him to sputter for a moment as he corrected himself.

"Diana, they heard you. I'm pretty sure everyone in the three block area heard you, but I don't care," he assured me with a silly grin that almost took away the sick feeling that threatened to swallow me whole once more. "I want people to know we're together even if it's only for tonight."

Edward's sweet words combined with the booze I had ingested washed away the sick feeling that had taken up residence in my chest ever since my slight freak out. It was perfect, but perfect wasn't us. It never had been, and I had always been okay with it until now.

"It's okay, Clark," I assured him with a smirk as he continued to stare at me, letting his focus wander from my eyes to my lips down to the amazing cleavage that I was all too aware that my push up bra gave me.

"No need woo me," I teased him causing his attention to focus back on my face once more. "I'm a sure thing."

"I'm not wooing you and there has never been anything _sure_ about you," he chuckled before leaning in as if he were about to kiss me only to stop before his lips touched mine.

It was a dick move since I knew he wanted it and there was no doubt that I wanted his kiss as well. I just wasn't going to be the first one to cave by making that first move. He was the one who wanted a game, so it was a game that I was going to give him.

"You always keep me on my toes, always doing exactly opposite of what I think you will," he whispered with a breathless laugh as I felt is him press closer, not giving me an inch of space while not actually touching me at all. It was maddening in the most wonderful way possible as I struggled to maintain that space between us, refusing to be the first one to give in.

"I like it though," he confessed in a soft whisper like it was a dirty secret that he only wanted to share with me. I watched, barely able to breathe as his focus on my lips before he met my gaze once more. "I like it a lot."

Before I could respond the elevator doors opened with a loud annoying, chime announcing that we had reached our floor. It was just the distraction we needed to break the tension between us, but one I refused to take as I launched myself as I used it to my advantage by launching myself against Edward. It was a move that caught him off guard as I listened to his low grunt as our bodies collided with more force than what I had intended, not that it appeared to bother Edward. His hands immediately gripped my hips, hoisting me up to carry me before they settled firmly on my ass while I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist for leverage. The surprised look on his face that was too reminiscent of the night that would not be named. It was enough to knock the wind out of my lungs and cause me to rethink my stupid action of jumping into his arms, but before I could demand that he let go of my ass so I could climb off of him he whisked us out of the small elevator an into the lavish looking hotel hallway. I opened my mouth to protest just as he pressed me against the wall and kissed me.

We had kissed before this moment. There had been a few stolen kisses underneath the stars on the lawn of our dorm building after sharing a bottle of Strawberry Boon's Wine. There was the night that changed everything were the kisses tasted like want before I wrecked it all followed by the few awkward champagne flavored_ Happy New Year _kisses that came in the years after. They all were different than this one kiss. Sure, there was an awkwardness that always came with a surprise kiss from a pretty boy, but there was something more than that. Maybe it was the force behind it that split my bottom lip so I could taste the copper of my blood. Maybe it was the desperation that burned between us to ease the weird sexual tension that came with knowing sex was within our grasp. I didn't know what it was; I just knew that I never wanted it to end.

My hands moved along his shoulders, feeling, grasping, and kneading the muscles there before moving upward to tangle in his short hair. It was cliché and just so perfect that I could not stop myself. Edward was quick to answer my pulling hair my gripping my ass hard to the point of being painful as he held me there.

Our kissed grew less awkward and more demanding as I opened my mouth beneath his, urging him to the same while I wrapped my legs around him tighter. I could feel his hands move from my ass to smooth long my thighs, hiking my dress up higher with each impatient move he made, wedging himself even more between my thighs. It was then that the loud, uncomfortable sound of someone clearing their throat right before the slamming of a hotel room door that pulled us back to reality. It was cold slap in the face, forcing to realize that we were practically dry humping in the middle of the hotel room hall way.

There was no time for embarrassment since we both knew the time for that would come later as Edward sprang into action. He continued to carry me down the hall, his hands firmly on my ass until stopping in front of a door. He balanced carrying me for a moment as he struggled with the door until it finally sprung open like magic. I hadn't a moment to protest or even ask for him to sit me down before he walked into the room, letting the door slam shut behind us.

.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! The next chapter will be up with in the hour. Thanks for being patient with me.**

**XOXO**

**Mamasutra**


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Edward tried to toss me down on the mattress only to fall on top of me as I refused to let him go. The sudden weight of his body crushing mine left me breathless as he remained face down in my boobs. It wasn't sexy or even romantic, but it was us and so reminiscent of another night I spent tangled with him on his dorm bed. I fought back the panic that came with that memory just as Edward moved enough to help me sit up once more. His ink blue eyes held mine for moment, silently asking me if I was okay to which I answered with a quick nod. I wasn't okay, but there was nothing he could say to change that.

I fought off the urge to run just as he descended upon me, pushing me back upon the bed once more. There was comfort and passion in his embrace as he held me close. There was no easing into being with him as his hands tracing the curve of my hip before moving upward to cup my breast through my dress. It was a bold move on his part that caused me to gasp into his mouth as he chuckled over my reaction.

That slow, too pleased with himself laugh was like fuel to the fire within me, reminding that this was a game; a game he wanted to win. Gathering up all the courage I could from within I pushed him back until he was off of me and then scrambled to stand up on my shaky legs before reaching around to unzip my dress. I held his gaze while allowing the dress to slip off me until it was nothing but a tangle of satin at my feet. I remained standing there, letting him stare as I silently thanked Rose for talking me into wearing thigh high stockings, even though I hated them since they felt more slutty than sexy to me. I wasn't sure what's Edward's vote was concerning slutty or sexy, I just knew from the glazed over look in his eyes he liked them and for that I was thankful. I was also thankful since it gave me a moment, a breather from his touch, allowing me to think again even if what I was thinking was how to win a fucking game that we both were destined to fail at.

I watched and waited for Edward responded to my upping the ante of no clothes, but he just grinned and slowly loosened his tie before working the buttons of his shirt.

"You're beautiful," he told me in a breathless tone that gave away his confidence as he stared at me while piece by piece removing his clothes. His words sent off a wave of heat under my skin as I felt myself blushing before him. It was embarrassing, but before I could even open my mouth to make some smart ass comment he had me pulled back against him.

There was something so enticing, so almost erotic about being basically skin to skin against him. It left me breathless in the best way possible as I wrapped my arms around him to pull him down for another kiss. Without thinking or really moving on my part, I found myself back upon the bed top. Edward's hands wanders, followed by his mouth, caressing and kissing my skin while ridding me of what little clothes I had left on until I was naked beneath him.

It should have been horrifying to be spread out before him without the benefit of some coverage, but instead it was the most liberating feeling in the world. There was nothing to hide behind so instead I clung to him. I kissed and tried to touch him even though he kept my hands at bay, telling me how this was about me and not him. It was a sweet gesture, but I didn't want sweet. Sweet was for boys who made love and love making was not what I wanted. I wanted heat. I wanted rough. I wanted to be consumed by him, to forget that the one night between us had ever happened and let this one take its place.

Edward picked up on my cues as he flipped me over, pulling me up on my knees before smacking my ass with force than what I had expected. The loud sound caused me jump almost as much as the flash of pain followed by the firm grip of my hips as he moved me in to the position of his liking. It was almost surreal to fell his hand upon me, demanding my compliance as he smoothed along my inner thigh before forcing them part even wider. It was shocking and just the right amount of gruffness that made my heart skip a beat.

My back arched almost involuntarily as I hide my face, waiting for what was next as I listened to him open the condom wrapper in-between the sounds of our ragged breathing. Five years of anticipating this moment. Dreaming of it. Wondering what it would be like to just toss caution to the wind and act upon the stupid urges that almost cost me him. All of that lust and wonder built up to this perfect moment making no foreplay needed since that was the last five years of our relationship.

I could not remember the feel of his hand upon my hip as he held on to me. I had been barely able to hear his sharp intake of air as he slowly aligned himself exactly where I needed him to be. I could only focus on the feeling of his hard cock; teasing me with the promise of what was to come as he slipped up and down my pussy in the most tantalizing manner possible.

It was maddening since while I was laid out before him, exposed in every aspect for his eyes, I had yet to have a chance to really look at Edward. He had kept my hands away from touching him, insisting that this night was about me. He had flipped me on my knees with my head down as he removed his boxers leaving me only to wonder what was beneath the material that had tented up so nicely for me. It was unfair, but that was the way Edward liked to play.

When I thought I could take no more his torturous teasing was when he made his move, twisting his hips just right so that he was able to push himself inside of me. It was a shock to the senses, causing us both to groan out loud from the pleasure pain feeling that came from being too full. Edward gripped my hips tight while murmuring a disjointed apology mixed with a pleading for me to relax.

"Holy fuck," I found myself chanting as he eased out a little, taking the ache of being stretched beyond what was comfortable with him only to push back in with more force until he was fully inside of me. It was then that he stopped moving and held on to me. His hands smoothed down my back, trying to sooth me as I continued to yelp with each jarring movement he made while my body shivered in response to the overstimulation of his touch and size. It was too much. It was sensory overload in the best possible as I tried to move against him to ease the ache him stretching muscles that weren't use to such girth.

Ever true to who Edward was, he hovered over me; waiting for me to say all was okay. He places kisses along my spine listening to my breathing as it slowed. His hands wandered freely, teasing my breasts as they swayed beneath me before dipping lower to caress my clit until I moaned yes for him. It was this softness, this sensual care that took the edge of my panic and pain as my body finally eased around him. Soon the ache of pain from muscles being over used was replaced with need or something more to ward off the old tension that was creeping back into place.

"Please," I whispered to him as I moved against him, urging him to move within me to ease to burn of needing him, needing sex, needing release, needing something to stop the madness that was now causing my body to tremble against his. It was all the urging Edward required since as soon as my whispered word he pulled back completely, leaving me breathless from the shock of being painfully full to now shockingly empty before thrusting back into me, filling me with a low grunt of pleasure. It was shocking in the best way possible as I found myself gripping the bed covers beneath me for support while he quickly found the rhythm that we both needed. It was swift and wonderful, pushing me towards the bliss that I needed to justify wrecking our friendship like this.

Edward was everywhere around me. He would grip my hips tight or smooth his hands over my sweaty skin as if to calm me. His fingers would dip lower tangling with mine to help as I gave my clit the friction that was missing to push me toward my orgasm. It was an intimate, almost painfully intimate, for a night of sex that started ass up and face down. It seemed to go against the one night stand fantasy he had been striving for, but I wasn't about to argue with him when I was so close that I could feel the tingling swirls of pleasure in my belly slowly spreading through my body. Its soft whispers of what was come had me moaning unapologetically against the thumping of the bed against the box spring until there was nothing but the sound of my heart and the low hiss that escaped Edward's lips as bliss hit me with the force of a freight train. It was overpowering and all consuming as I gripped the bedspread beneath me in hopes that I would not be washed away from the pleasure-pain of the moment.

I was lost in the haze of coming down. I was oblivious to Edward except for the fact that each erratic thrust of his hips, driving his cock deeper; prolonging the state of bliss that I was in. It was perfect in the worst way possible as he spun me higher and higher until I had nothing more to give. It was then that he held me there, suspended with him in that moment of time. He came with a low muttering of _fuck _that sounded almost painful as he gripped my hips painfully tight in his hands.

I wasn't sure how long we remained tangled together since time had ceased to matter. It was after what felt like ages that he finally pulled out with swift jerk, causing me to topple over upon the bed. I rolled over slowly, feeling the twinge overused of muscles as I moved to cover myself, not that it mattered. Modesty at this point was almost laughable, yet I could not stop myself from grabbing at the covers as Edward had returned. He was quick to join me under the covers, spreading out next to me so we were close, yet not touching.

It was in that shared silence that I tried to breathe as I stared at the ceiling above me. I attempted to grasp what would happen next since I really had no idea. It wasn't something we had discussed, but truth be told there was a lot things that Edward and I never discussed so this was par for the course for us.

I was wrapped into what to do next, how I should behave when I felt his hand close grasp mine lightly.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked softly as his fingers interlocked with mine. It was the perfect opportunity to tell him all my fears. I could whisper to him in the glare of the hotel bedside lamp that I worried over what to do or how to behave with him now. I could confess that as much as I wanted him that there was no game that ever worth risking losing him. I could tell him that this was a bad idea, but at the same time it was too good not to do again, but instead of telling him the truth I just rolled over just look at him with a smile.

Edward in all his post coital glow was beautiful. He was pink cheeked and wore a sleepy, yet nervous grin that left me with the urge to kiss him again.

"I was thinking that you might have paralyzed me since I can't feel my legs now," I admitted with a teasing smile to cover up my discomfort. I watched the nervousness that had been etched upon his face melt away as he began to laugh at me just like I knew he would. What I wasn't expecting was for him to move closer before pulling me into a loose embrace that seemed to ease the tension that had taken control once more.

"Yeah, that was just… wow," he breathed out with a soft laugh into my hair as he held me in the crook of his arm.

"Yeah," I murmured, swallowing back every other worry that burned on the tip of my tongue while trying to enjoy the lingering comfort of his embrace.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading.**

**XOXO**

**mamasutra**


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Mornings. They were never kind to me and this morning would be no different.

I awoke to the slamming of a door down the hall. The sharp sound was unexpected and a horrible reminder of where I had spent my night. I opened my eyes slowly, half expecting to find Edward already awake as I had once during the night only to be relieved that he wasn't. His handsome face was turned towards me while being half buried in the pillow while his arm, heavy with sleep, was slung over my middle in his typical fashion. He was a known sleep cuddler even though it was something he denied it. He looked sweet and surprisingly sexy for someone who was lost to the world for the moment. Any other morning I would I have woken him up to join me for coffee, but not this morning. I wasn't ready to face him or the fall out of sex with him in the cold light of the morning.

As I watched him sleep as the first wave of panic hit me.

I had sex Edward Cullen.

MY heart started to pound within my chest as images of the last night played out within my head like scenes from a bad porno. Me on my knees being fucked like a rag doll. Me lying with him as he played with my hair. Me, naked on his lap while he fed me Lo Mein from chop sticks in between kisses while Sports Center played in the back ground. They all blurred together leading up to middle of the night kisses that were soft and warm. Our hands wandering over skin as we explored each other. The whisper of please as he asked me for entrance. The expression on his face as he slowly, almost methodically made love to me in such a way that left me breathless. The taste of his lips with my name on his lips as he came. All these memories that would haunt me the worst way possible.

"What the fuck was I thinking," I mumbled out loud resulting in Edward stirring next to me, his arm tightening around my middle for a moment before grumbling in his sleep before growing slack once more.

I looked over at my sleeping Edward and knew without a doubt that I had to get out of there. I needed to be away from him before he woke since I knew I would not be able to handle facing him at that moment. I needed more time to pull myself together and put on my game face before acting as if nothing had happened between us.

Cautiously, I moved, testing the water to see how easily Edward would wake up if I left him. I tried to think of the past of when we had shared a bed before and if he was a light sleeper. I couldn't remember since it had never mattered before. Slowly, I moved away from him, freeing myself from his embrace as I slipped off the bed and on to the carpeted floor. From there it was easy. It was as simple me slipping on my dress while searching for my panties in the corners of the room before finally giving up looking for my shoes. I could leave without my panties, but I needed my shoes. It had me on my knees crawling around, carefully moving the blankets as I looked for one missing shoe. I was so lost in my search that I didn't notice the movement on the bed.

"Bella?"

The sound of his sleepy voice calling out for me caused me to freeze in terror as if I had been caught in the act of something horrible instead of just trying to leave. I listened as he sat up followed by the fumbling for his glasses before scrambling off the bed, naked as the day he was born, in a rush as if he were startled by the slamming door as well. It left me calculating the time it would take to make a mad dash for the door without my shoes and without him noticing me even though I knew it was impossible.

"Fuck," I muttered in defeat just as Edward turned to find me on the floor have covered in bed sheets and no doubt looking like an idiot. I watched as an amused smile slowly brightened his face. It only added to my embarrassment.

"What are you doing on the floor?" he asked as he stepped closer, clearly not caring at all that he was still naked from last night's activities. His nakedness was distracting, causing me to fumble over words while making it impossible to for me lie properly.

"I lost my shoe," I admitted stupidly as I held up the one shoe that I had found.

"Where you trying to leave before I woke up?" he asked even though we both knew what the answer was.

"It seemed like the thing to do," I nodded as I looked at him, doing my best to keep the panic of being caught out of my voice. "You know keeping with the whole… the whole one night stand thing… you know."

"Okay," I listen to him mumble softly as if he were almost talking to himself.

"I'll help you look," he spoke up as he moved as if to kneel beside me.

"Would you put on your boxers first?" I insisted, stopping him form coming closer.

"I just can't… right now," I rambled as I waved my hands in his direction motioning towards his body.

I watched him silently nod and then turn away to retrieve them. It was enough time for me to get up off my knees to face him with what a little dignity I had left.

I continued to look while Edward dressed. When he turned back towards me to help he had his pants on and his shirt in hand. Together we found my shoe which gave me my perfect opportunity to leave him. I smiled and stumbled towards the door since it was too weird to thank him for the evening out.

"Don't you want these?" he called out causing me to turn around to find the black panties that I had worn the night before dangling off his finger tips.

"I...um… I guess," I stammered stupidly from the doorway where he had stopped me from making my escape. I stood there for a moment expecting him to walk them over to me, instead he stood in the middle of the room unmoving and waiting for me. It was intimidating and thrilling in a way that did nothing for resolve to get away from him.

I crossed the room on shaky legs, tripping over myself and the heels I had worn as I approached him. I reached out for my underwear that he held on to like a god damn prize only to have them snatched away once more.

"Hey!"

"What are you doing, Bella?" he insisted as his hands caught mine, pulling me closer to him to save me from tripping over my feet. I collided into his bare chest before righting myself once more.

"I was leaving like you're supposed to if you follow the script written for all one night stands," I insisted with scowl just as I jerked my hand and my panties free from his grasp.

"Bella, you made me promise that it wouldn't be weird," he talked over the top of me. "That goes the same for you, you know?"

"I am not making it weird," I lied proficiently as he gave me his what-the-fuck-ever look.

"Okay, I'm making things weird, but Edward, it _is _weird," I whined as he shook his head at me as if I were the one who was acting out of place.

"It's only weird if we let be and I refuse to let be," he stated as if his words made it a fact.

"Bella," he began slowly as he took hold of my hand in his. His touch was warm and so familiar. "You told me that you can't lose me, well, I can't lose you, so please just... don't."

AN:

Thanks for reading!

XOXO

Mamasutra


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Guilt was an ugly thing. It had me breaking every one night stand rule there was as I stood in the waiting area to be seated at Denny's with Edward.

"How did you talk me into this?" I asked him just as we lingered in the foyer amongst the after church crowd. They stared at us and our disheveled appearance with a mixture of expressions ranging from disdain to amusement.

"It's a tradition," he reminded me with a smile as he ran a hand through his hair for what had to be the hundredth time in effort to tame the tangled mess, but failed. It still stood on end from sleep and my hands; the only difference was that he did not seem too embarrassed by it.

"Yeah? You've made taking your one night stand out for breakfast a tradition?" I mocked him with a laugh causing the lady standing close to us to take a step back from where we stood.

"No, never," he grinned at me like the dick he could often be. "Just you."

"Oh, Edward," I cooed at him just as he wrapped his arm around me. "You sure know how to make a girl feel all tingly inside."

"You told me that last night too," he snickered as he pulled me close to him for side hug that was comforting and asshole like all at once.

"Dick," I muttered just as the glass door swung open and another happy family came to wait with us.

"Mom look," I heard a little voice call out happily as I took advantage of Edward's strength by leaning against him as we stood there. "It's Ms. Swan."

As soon as I heard my name call out in excitement I stiffened in Edward's arms.

"IF you don't look at them maybe they'll go away," he whispered softly against my hair as I continued to stare straight ahead.

_Oh god please let the hostess call our name._

It was a prayer uttered in vain since the woman within the happy shiny family called my name a little louder, refusing to let me ignore her and her child.

I turned very slowly to find the small face of a little boy beaming a bright smile at me. It was Seth Blackwater. He was a sweet kid that was a hard worker and a kind soul. He was one of those kids that actually were a pleasure to have in class.

"Hey Seth," I greeted him with a tight smile and nod of my head before looking up to smile at Mr. and Mrs. Blackwater. I could see the look of surprise on their faces as they took in my bed head and black eye liner smeared eyes. I look exactly like how I felt, worn out and overused after a night that should not have happened.

"Ms. Swan," Mrs. Blackwater greeted me with a slightly amused smile while the little boy launched into how this was how his family spent every Sunday and how much he loved the French toast here.

"That's great," I mumbled as I tried to turn back towards Edward who stood firmly at my side and arm around my shoulder with a plastic smile upon his face.

"Who's that?" Seth asked as he motioned towards Edward with a wave of his hand.

"This is my friend," I explained without explaining anything at all.

"Is he your boyfriend?" the little boy asked without pausing while I sputtered a no, not that he was listening to me. "Cause I thought Mr. Whitlock was your boyfriend."

"No, Mr. Whitlock is not my boyfriend, and neither is Edward. They both are just my friends," I corrected him sweetly while Edward turned to look at me with a curious look.

"Did you have a sleep over with him?" Seth asked as his mother stepped trying to silence him, but he just continued on. "Cause I sometimes have sleepovers with my friends."

"I…" I sputtered nervously as I turned slightly to look at Edward who looked almost as horrified as what I felt.

"Why is your dress inside out?" Seth asked as his mother pulled him back towards her just as the hostess bellowed the name _Cullen._ Edward promptly turned us both without letting go of me to follow the hostess away from my all too curious student.

"Oh my god," I muttered as he took me by the hand and pulled me towards the booth that was now ours. We went through the motions, requesting coffee and thanking her for the menus before we were left alone to wallow in our own humiliation.

"Oh my god," I sputtered as Edward began to speak at the same time.

"Why would he think you were dating Jasper?"

"Is my dress inside out?" I asked him as he stared at me with a look of irritation on his face before he looked at me.

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Okay, yes it is… But it's not a big deal," he began with a shrug, downplaying it all while I felt my throat close with anxiety. I glanced over at the Clearwater family only to find that they were clearly watching us and our exchange.

"Not a big deal?" I screeched in a loud voice that caused the old couple next to us to turn and stare while Edward gave them a friendly wave, but it wasn't a friendly wave they wanted. They were interested in my misery and that had me fighting the urge to give them the finger.

"Bella…"

"Don't you dare Bella me," I hissed in anger as he offered me his hands to hold, but I refused. "This is my job, Edward. My _job _and now… now Mrs. Black, who happens to be the head of the PTA, probably thinks I'm a whore."

Edward stood up and turned as if he was going to leave me there.

"Where are you going?" I demanded as he turned towards the Clearwater's.

"I'm going over there to straighten this out," he said causing me to swat at him before pulling him down to sit by me to keep him from making the situation even worse than what it already was.

"Don't you dare," I insisted as he sat down next to me, trapping me in the booth so I could not move before turning to face me. His hands cupped my face, holding me still and forcing me to look at him.

"Bella, you are not a whore and no one would ever think that about you," he assured me in a soothing voice and serious look upon his handsome face. It was almost enough to lull me into believing him.

"But…"

"Bella, you are an incredible teacher and if this woman can't over look one morning where… maybe you aren't at your best, then it says more about her than it ever does you," he stated with the same simple confidence that had always amazed me about him.

Edward continued to cup my face in his hands letting me calm down while refusing to leave me be until he knew I was down with this freak out. I wasn't surprised by it since this was what Edward did. It was what he always did. He would come and hold my hand until I could pull myself together. It was what made him perfect since he got me and unlike Jasper, he never questioned why I would freak out, he just calmed down.

"How is it you do this?" I asked him, mesmerized by his blue eyes as he watched me.

"Do what?" Edward asked with a pleased smirk on his face playing innocent as always.

"Calm me down," I stated as he smiled in a secretive manner.

"Oh that," he snorted as he slowly relinquished his hold on my face, yet didn't move back to his side of the booth. "I've just got the magic touch I guess."

I waited for some lame sexual innuendo or some comment about last night, but never came. Instead, he just smiled and then finally moved back to his side of the booth to give me the space I claimed to need.

"You guys ready to order?" the waitress asked as she appeared at our table as if by magic.

I looked over at Edward to find him watching me as he toyed with the menu even though we both knew it by heart.

"Yeah, I think so" he said with a polite smile for the girl before motioning for her to ask me what I would like. It felt so normal between us that I almost forgot that it wasn't, but for first time since opening my eyes I honestly believed that it could be.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**XOXO**

**Mamasutra**


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

"So how's slugger?" Rose asked innocently, causing me to turn and glare at her once more.

"What?" she asked as rolled my eyes.

"I regret telling you anything," I sighed as she laughed at me.

"What did you think I'd call him after you told me being with him was like being screwed with the business end of a baseball bat?" she continued to laugh at me and my wine soaked confession over my night with Edward.

"I guess I expected a woman of your age to be more adult like than that," I commented stiffly as I stirred the chili that she had made for dinner.

"Well, I hate to disappoint you, but you are wrong," she snorted in the most unlady like manner as she continued to chop veggies for the salad that was going along with the soup. I could feel her watching me for a moment before finally sighing.

"How is Edward?" she finally asked, calling him by his name to appease me as I continued to stir the pot.

"He's okay," I whispered as I thought about how he had been gone all week. It wasn't his choice. He had been sent to DC for training, giving me the space I had insisted I needed to think. The sad part was the only thing I had learned was that I missed him.

"He still gone?" she asked as I turned to face her with a blank look on my face.

"Until Friday I think," I shrugged as if it was nothing, but the truth was I was counting down until he was back in town once more.

"Do you hear from him?" she asked me with a curious look on her face.

"What does it matter?" I asked, down playing her nosey question while she frowned. She had no idea that he had called me every night and she didn't need to know. It would only lead to other questioned, and I wasn't in the mood for more questions concerning Edward. She didn't need to know that if he was ever away from me he would call. This hadn't changed since our night together. He would call me each night before bed. He would ask about my day and tell me about his. We would talk about nothing and everything all at once. The only difference there was now happened to be the tension between us that we danced around. I could feel it when he whispered good night in my ear. It settled between us when he would tease me and ask what I was wearing to bed or if I missed him. It laced through every conversation making the mundane charged with same electricity that I had felt in his touch.

"I guess it doesn't," she mused as she turned to face me once more. "I just thought that sex would change things between you."

"We've agreed not to let that happen," I repeated the promise that Edward, and I had made each other the morning after over eggs and bacon.

"How very modern of you," she teased before calling for her family to join us just as I glanced at the clock. I had an hour before he would call and I had so much yet to do. I hadn't written in my blog for almost a week so the need to write before talking to Edward was burning within me.

"You staying?" she asked as I moved towards where I had left my purse.

"I don't think so" I smiled while she nodded. I waited for her snide comments about Edward, sex or sex with Edward, but they never came.

"Tell Slugger we're thinking of him," she snickered as she waved me off just as her kids came crashing through the door.

"Yeah, will do," I laughed before slipping out the back door to make my escape.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**XOXO**

**Mamasutra**


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

I sat down with my lap top sprawled across my lap and pulled up the blog posting I had been working since the Sunday morning after my night with Edward. The blank page stared back at me for a moment as I tried to think what to say before the words started to flow, but once they did it was easy to write what had happened. It was shockingly simple to discuss this weird game with Edward and how I never agreed to it, yet found myself a will participant. I spilled my heart with ease as I spoke of my night with him in detail for the handful of followers that I had picked up somehow before looking at the question I had posed with the blog entry from before.

_Do you think it's possible to have sex with a friend and have nothing change?_

This was the question I had asked the people who read my on line journal in my last post where I had discussed Edward's crazy proposal so I was anxious to read what they had to say. Their words were typically amusing and occasionally wise. This time was no different as I read through line after all line that sex changes everything and that I was playing with fire. It was all the same except for one from Henry Bessemer. He always posted on my blog posts so I was not surprised to find his name in the response area.

_Sometimes change is good._

"Henry, you are the only who thinks that," I snickered as I closed up my laptop just as my phone rang. I didn't need to look at the ID to know who it was.

"Hey," I mumbled into the phone and then listened to his soft inhale. I could almost see the tired, yet wickedly sweet smile on his face as he greeted me.

"What are you wearing?"

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**XOXO**

**Mamasutra**


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Edward returned home with little fanfare. He didn't come over. He didn't call to let me know that he was okay. He just appeared on a Saturday morning with Jasper like nothing was out of the ordinary and it wasn't. He had done this before when traveling for work. It was normal for us even though such normalcy left me feeling deflated. I knew I should have relieved by it all, and I was, yet it there was something about it all that left me lost as to what to do.

"You coming Bella?" Jasper called out to me with a laugh as I had fallen out of step with him and Edward as we walked back to my place from the grocery store that was close by.

"Yeah," I mumbled as I continued to look up at the night sky. It was then that I felt a hand slip over mine; freeing me from the six pack of beer I was carrying. His hand was warm and as familiar as my own as he pulled the pack of bottles free so that he could carry them and the bag that he held in his other hand.

"I got it," I assured Edward who just smiled as he left me empty handed.

"I know you do," he assured me while trying to soothe my bruised ego. "But what kind of gentleman would I be if I let you?"

The mention of him being a gentleman earned a soft snicker from me as he shortened his gait so we could walk side by side.

"You? A gentleman?" I laughed as he grinned softly as if he were amused with my reaction.

"You know I am."

"Yeah, yeah, okay," I mocked as we turned the corner towards my place. I glanced up to see Jasper ahead of us holding the door to the complex open like an idiot as he watched us approached.

"Hey," Edward stopped, causing me to stop as well. "You want to get together tomorrow?"

This was normal.

In the time before I knew what it felt like to have Edward inside of me we went to movies and bars together. We would laugh and binge watch Netflix. We did anything and everything together, yet now it all felt foreign.

I listened as Edward explained some exhibit he wanted to see and while I nodded along.

"Sure," I mumbled as Jasper yelled at us to hurry up.

This was normal and horribly strange.

The night passed with Edward on the couch with me. He was close, yet not touching. It was normal, yet it wasn't since he typically touched me somehow. Maybe he was making a point not to touch me; maybe he was doing it on purpose to prove how so called normal we could be? Maybe he was just trying to drive me crazy since the more he didn't touch me the more I wanted him to.

I found myself focusing on how Edward had yet to make mention of the game, of us, of sex, of anything that that had taken over my thoughts. I wanted to know if the game was over, yet I was too chicken shit to ask so instead I stared at him, his hands, his chest, and the hint of the happy trail that peaked out from under his t-shirt as he stretched. It was this madness that had me squirming in my seat as I sat next to him.

"You okay?" he asked in a whisper as he leaned towards me. I could feel the heat of his breath on my neck. It did nothing for slow ache that was building from having him this close, yet so far away.

"Sure," I mumbled out a lie as I felt him move closer. His body was pressed against mine as his hand moved so that it rested upon my thigh. It was warm, welcoming, and not enough as I felt his fingers slip along my inner thigh. It was a bold move that left me breathless and watching Jasper to make sure he was not aware of what was going on between us.

"I'm not," he whispered softly with a slight laugh as he continued to trace a mindless pattern over my inner thigh.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**XOXO**

**Mamasutra**


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

_I'm not._

Edward's words lingered in the air between us as his fingers smoothed long the in seam of my jeans. It was a light, teasing touch that robbed me of my ability to breathe right and stopped my thought process as I squirmed next to him.

"What do you want to watch?" Jasper asked, cutting the tension with his sudden demand that a decision be made.

"I don't know," I muttered as Edward's nimble fingers continued tracing up and down my inner thigh.

"What do you mean you don't know? Since when do you not have an opinion?" I listened to Jasper laugher as felt Edward's fingers graze higher to skim over the apex at my thighs. It was subtle and damning. It was exactly where I wanted him to touch me, but not while Jasper was watching.

"I don't care what we watch," I sputtered as I clamped my thighs shut, capturing Edward's hand between them in effort to stop the teasing movement.

"Why is that?" he asked me with a teasing lilt to this voice as I felt his fingers wiggle from where they were trapped. I looked over at him to find him completely unimpressed with my efforts as he grinned at me like an adorable idiot.

"You stop it," I whispered in a breathy voice that lacked the anger I needed to show him that I meant business.

"Stop what?" he whispered with a smile that was far from innocent as I rolled my eyes at him.

"You know what."

"Stop this?" he asked as his moved his fingers, wiggling them between my clamped shut legs playfully instead of the soft, seductive touch that he had been tempting me with.

"He'll see us," I pleaded in a whisper that caused Edward to stop for a moment before continuing his teasing.

"No, he won't," he assured me with a grin that looked a little off.

"Look at him, Bella," he motioned with his free hand towards Jasper who was focused on the TV screen as he sought some lame ass movie for us to waste our time watching. "He's too busy looking for a fucking Liam Neeson movie to torture us with."

He was right of course. Jasper was scrolling over the new movies out on Netflix. He was oblivious to us and where Edward's hand was located.

"The question is why does it matter?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, unsure as to what he was getting at with his odd question.

"I mean, what does it matter if Jasper sees us?"

It was a good question that I really didn't have an answer to.

"I just don't want to have to explain this to him," I struggled to say as I looked straight ahead of me instead of looking at the man at my side.

"Okay," I listened to him mumble just as Jasper turned to look at us once more. I expected him to say something about how close we were or how Edward's hand was buried between my legs, but he didn't. He didn't say one word, and I wasn't sure if I was relieved or disappointed by his lack of response.

"What about you, E?" Jas asked as if Edward would have some great suggestion on how to spend our night and like always he did.

"A Walk Among the Tombstones."

The mention of Liam set Jasper off in a tirade as to which Liam Neeson movie we would watch, not that I wanted to watch any of them.

"Why would you do that?" I asked as I turned to look at him with a scowl only to find him grinning as he watched me.

"Because you know he's got some man crush on Liam Neeson," he snickered as I rolled my eyes at his antics. I knew all too well how Jasper felt about Liam. It was disturbing in the worst why possible, yet here Edward encouraging this sick love affair.

Without any further discussion, Jasper started _The_ _Grey _eventhough I groaned loud and obnoxiously over his choice. Jasper answered promptly by giving me the finger before turning back the start of that dreadful movie.

"Are you happy now?" I asked Edward as he chuckled slowly as if the whole exchange amused him. "We now have one hundred seventeen minutes of tedious crap to sit through."

"No, I'm not happy about any of this," Edward confessed with a grin as he moved so that he was facing me. His dark blue eyes were bright with amusement and maybe something more as we stared at each other while huddled together on the couch.

"You look pretty happy," I countered with a smile that I could not contain as I looked into him.

"Are you naked and chanting my name?" he asked me causing me to sputter out a breath since I wasn't expecting that answer. "Then no, I'm not happy."

"Edward, please," I breathed out softly causing him to shake his head at me.

"That's close… So close baby, but not exactly what I want," he whispered with a sultry smile that made my heart pound within my chest. "Don't worry; I think I help you get there."

"Jasper…" I began slowly trying to remind him that we were not alone, but it was clear he didn't care.

"Needs to go home… now."

"What about my fantasy?" I asked him, reminding him of the game that we were playing.

"Are you trying to tell me that this isn't a fantasy of yours? If so I will call you a liar, Bella."

"I never said that…" I protested weakly as he shook his head at me.

"You don't have to."

"You've lost your mind," I breathed out with a laugh as he smiled in response, but it was that damn know it all smile that he knew drove me insane.

"Did you miss me this week?" he asked me abruptly, causing me to stutter for a moment before falling silent while Jasper shushed us.

"Did you miss me?" I countered back in a haughty tone, earning a loud laugh from the boy at my side.

"Let me show how much."

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**XOXO**

**Mamasutra**


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

I glanced at my phone to see what time it was.

"Don't bother," Edward whispered as I looked down at the screen to see how little time had passed. "It's only been thirty minutes."

"You know you could help me here," I responded back as I turned only to find myself nose to nose with Edward. His ink blue eyes were bright with amusement.

I had known he was close since his body was pressed against mine; his hand still firmly between my legs. He had given me no space and as little time as possible to even think of anything else except him and what was to come once Jasper was out of the way.

"You have to admit that this is a fantasy of yours."

"What?" I practically sputtered only to have Jasper shush me before rambling on about the meaning of this bleak movie that he had insisted that we watch.

"You heard me," Edward teased in a breathy tone as I rolled my eyes at him. "Admit that you've thought about this… That you've wanted this and I'll help."

"You want to admit that my fantasy is sex on a couch… my couch... not like the couch in the teacher's break room or the coach at my dad's house, but my couch… The one I bought at IKEA for like five hundred dollars with my tax return," I mocked as he grinned at me. He could be adorable when he was being an ass, and this was one of those times.

"You want to have sex on the couch in the teacher's break room at your job?" he asked me with a low snicker that almost made me blush with its suggestive tone. "Bella Swan, you dirty, dirty girl."

"I did not say that…" I began as I swatted at him while his laughter only grew louder.

"I had no idea that you would want to be so adventurous," he laughed as he moved to wrestles me down on the couch in effort to stop my lame assault on him. "I'm not complaining though. I like it. I like it a lot."

I listened to his laughter as he pressed a sneaky kiss against my neck as I struggled beneath him, but what I was fighting for I wasn't sure since I wanted him close. It was ridiculous, but so was everything that came with this lame ass game.

"But I'm a giver, Bella, and I will do my best to make that fantasy happen," he continued to talk over the top of my protesting while moving so that he was practically on top of me. His body was heavy and most certainly welcomed as he held me down against the cushions.

"You're a dick."

"Oh I'll happily give you dick," he snickered softly as he held me there. His ink blue eyes were bright with amusement as I pushed at him, yet it did little to get him off of me, not that I really cared. "But first, you have to admit that this is a fantasy of yours."

"I admit to nothing," I shot back as I curled my leg around his, holding him in place as he hovered above me. The smile on his face was warm and teasing. It had me dying to kiss that smart ass look off his face in the worst way possible.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

Jasper's question caused me to freeze beneath him as I stared up at Edward with a panicked look.

"I… I mean, we were wrestling," I screeched in a voice that sounded shrill to my own ears. It caused me to cling to the boy who hovered above me. I looked up at Edward to find him watching me. His smile had faded into a slight frown as I wordlessly pleaded with him to do something.

"Get out."

"What?"

"You need to leave," Edward insisted as he moved off me while simultaneously pulling me up to sitting beside him.

"Why?" Jasper asked with a dumbfounded expression on his face that had me sputtering for a reason as to why he had leave that did not involve me tell him anything about sex with Edward.

"Because Bella and I want private alone time," Edward stated simply as if he was talking to a child.

"To plan your birthday party," I blurted out in a rush of words that caused Jasper to stare at me slack jaw while Edward slowly shook his head at me.

"My birthday is in a month," Jasper questioned as I smiled at him while trying my best to hide the fact that this was nothing but a lie.

"I know, but booking a room and entertainment takes time," I explained; letting the lie grow even larger as I watched Jasper grin. There was no one who loved their birthday more than Jasper so this was an easy sell.

"You know how I love a party," Jasper grinned while Edward remained silent. I could feel his judgment as I smiled and nodded happily for Jasper.

"Just don't forget the stripper this time," he insisted as he gave Edward a pointed look, reminding him that he hadn't forgotten his last birthday party where Edward had failed to provide a stripper.

"I told you I won't hire a stripper," Edward reminded him as I interrupted him once more.

"Yes, I know. The leggy blonde one with big tits."

"At least one of my friends understands what I need," Jasper commented, taking a verbal jab at Edward as we watched him stand up to leave us behind.

"Yes and why is that?" Edward asked while ignoring Jasper to focus on me. His dark blue eyes were dark and dangerous as he challenged me to say something, but I had no response.

"I'll leave you to your party planning," Jasper announced while grabbing his coat before rambling on about how he was going to give his barista booty call a ring to see if she was interested in meeting up.

I watched him leave before turning back towards Edward with a nervous frown as I felt his hand let release mine

"You don't want him to know about us?" he questioned remaining on his side of the couch. His hand remained at his side as I waited for him to touch me.

"You do?" I questioned him and then waited for a response.

"I don't care if he knows," Edward explained with a shrug that suggested how little he cared. "I just don't understand why you do."

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading : )**

**XOXO**

**Mamasutra**


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

I waited until Jasper was gone before turning back to face Edward. A scowl was etched upon his handsome face as he met my gaze with a look of challenge.

"So?"

"I cannot believe you," I spat at him as he stood his ground before me.

No way, answer my question first,"" he insisted as he took a step closer. "Why do you care?"

"What the fuck do you mean?"

"Why do you care if he knows about us?"

"I don't care," I insisted as Edward stared at me with his all knowing look, calling bull shit to my claim without saying a word.

"Fine, I do care, but… but damn it Edward," I practically screamed at him while he crossed his arms over his chest in a defiant move that did nothing for my attitude.

"But what?" he insisted as I rolled my eyes at him.

"You're embarrassed of us?"

"No."

"You're keeping your options open for him?"

"What?" I sputtered, not bothering to hide the shock on my face as I gawked at him. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"I…" he muttered as I watched him drag a hand through his hair while looking away as a wave of anger crashed over me.

"Listen up," I demanded as I stepped closer, breeching the space that he had placed between us. "I don't know what your deal is tonight, but whatever it is, it has to stop. Jasper is my friend…"

"He's my friend too, and I won't lie to him," Edward stated with a shrug that only served to piss me off even more.

"I didn't lie," I spat, earning an eye roll from the man who stood before me.

"Really? When were you going to clue me in that we were planning Jasper's birthday party tonight?"

"Okay, fine, but I had to lie to him because you were being an asshole," I insisted as he stared silently at me for a moment before cracking a grin.

"You were covering for me?" He asked in a soft voice as if the idea of me doing such a thing amused him.

"Jasper has been my friend forever so I won't allow you to be an asshole to him," I restated as he nodded along to what I was saying.

"You were covering for me?" he questioned me with a smug smile as I shook my head at him.

"I was protecting Jasper," I countered as he shook his head at me.

"Okay, Bella, whatever you need to tell yourself."

"You drive me fucking me nuts," I mumbled as I turned away from him only to have Edward stop me. He reached out and pulled me back against him before wrapping me in a backwards hug. It was sweet and awkward, much like the weird position I had found myself in with this man.

"And I'm okay with that," he whispered as he leaned down to press a kiss against my neck.

"You made me miss a good movie," I grumbled, bitching at him while he breathed out a warm laugh against my skin.

"That movie is a depression piece of shit and you know it," he continued to laugh. "Just admit it, by the end you wanted the wolf to eat the bastard just to be put out of your misery."

I did, but I was not about to admit to anything when it came to Edward. The last time I did that it blew up in my face in the most spectacular of ways. Instead, I pulled myself free from his embrace and started to walk back towards the couch while. I had only taken a few steps before pulling my t-shirt followed by my camy over my head so that I was standing before him in just my bra and jeans.

"You staying?" I asked him, cutting the small talk and the chance of making the moment anything more than what it was by reminding me as to what we were doing here.

"You want me to?" Edward asked with a soft smile as I watched his gaze dip from my face to my breasts and then back up again.

"You did mention something about fulfilling fantasies on couches and showing me how much you missed me, right?" I teased while trying to take control of the situation once more by reminding him of what we had agreed to.

"I did," he agreed slowly, but I could see him delaying there was something more he was waiting to say, but I wasn't ready for that something more. I didn't want to hear what he had to say or what was bothering him. I wanted to focus on what we had even if that was wrong.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" I asked him while unbuttoning my jeans before pulling them off. It was all the encouragement he needed.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**XOXO**

**Mamasutra**


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

It was easy to be naked with him.

Too easy maybe, but that would be something I would deal with later. Now was all about him and this fantasy world that he was all too willing to create for me

The minute I took off my clothes Edward's babbling stopped and soon he was as naked as what I was, but that's where his rush towards the proverbial finish line ended.

"Tell me," he asked in a soft voice that was tight with need as he pulled me to him so he could lay me back upon the cushions behind me.

"Tell you what?" I asked, unable to stop the nervous giggle that escaped from my lips as I watched kneel before me. His blue eyes were dark and dangerous looking as he looked over my naked form that was stretched out before him before reaching out to smooth a touch along my hips and downward.

"Tell me how many times you've thought of me like this," he smiled as his hands slid up the back of my claves before settling on my knees to pry them apart. "On my knees begging for just a taste of you."

"I… um…"

"How many movies have we sat through where you've wonder what it would be like to reach out and just do it… Just touch and kiss you, fuck the consequences," he chuckled as he hooked my legs over his arms before abruptly pulling me down the couch until he was practically face first between my thighs.

"I don't know…" I mumbled nervously as my stomach clenched tight with nerves making it hard to breathe. My senses were in over drive as I felt his warm breath against my sensitive skin.

"But you've thought about it… Dreamt about it… wanted it, right?"

I did.

I wanted it even though I refused to allow myself to entertain the idea. Edward had been off limits to me for so long that it was still hard to wrap my head around the stupid game he insisted we play.

I opened my mouth to say something but only managed a surprised squeak as I felt him playfully nip at my inner thigh followed by a soothing kiss. It left me struggling to breathe as squirmed against his hold.

"Hands above your head," he instructed me as he pulled me closer so that my ass was teetering on the edge of the couch. I could barely hear him over the roar of my heart beat that seemed to drown out any of the surrounding sounds. It was too much, but I was learning there was no such thing as too much when it came to Edward.

I refused to look to him as I lay there waiting his touch. It was horrible in way since I had never felt so bare or so exposed before him. It was terrifying and liberating in a way that I hadn't expected from our time together, but more than that it left me wanting more. Never had I wanted to feel him inside of me more, yet remained unmoved, teasing me, leaving me exposed while I lied there with my eyes clenched closed.

I felt the heat of his breathed as he leaned close into my over heated skin. His mouth was there, just right there against my pussy, hovering, yet not touching. I could feel his heat and hesitation as he blew a puff of cool air across my skin. It caused as shudder of anticipation that shook me hard as I tried to maintain the act of being unaffected, yet failed miserably.

I bit my lip against crying out for him to move, to touch me, to do something since I was dying. I was dying without his touch and I couldn't even find the strength to tell him. I was fading away as I lie there, exposed and wet for him. It was horrific and reminiscent of the night we agreed never to speak of again as I clutched the couch arm above me, wondering if he was reconsidering his role in our fucked up game.

Slowly, Edward leaned forward as I held my breath, wanting and waiting for his touch, until I felt his lips against me. His fingers moved and spread my lips, exposing my hidden flesh, but before I could feel the sting of humiliation over being so open to him I felt his tongue as he licked from my entrance to my clit. My entire body jolted in surprise from the sensation of his tongue licking me in long wet strokes as he hummed his approval.

"So sweet," I heard him murmur as before he lapped at my pussy again with more passion as I fought not to scream from the sensation of it all. I closed my eyes and gripped the couch above me tightly as I felt Edward circle my clit with his tongue.

"Relax," he murmured before sucking my clit his mouth as I found my body reacting wildly against his mouth as my back arched off the scratchy material that I was sprawled out upon. I fought off the impending bliss while Edward continued to hold my hips down before slipping a finger inside of me as I sputtered for air. My hand shot out on its own accord and gripped his silky brown hair; holding his face against me as he slowly added another finger while sucking my clit. I could feel the burn of stretching, making room for the intrusion of his fingers, but it wasn't enough.

I wanted more.

I wanted him.

I wanted him deeper and faster inside of me. I ached for him. I wanted his cock inside of me, stretching me, filling me, making me his.

I arched and bucked against his touch as Edward teased me, pushing me closer to an orgasm only to pull back once more.

"Please, Edward, please," I whispered with my eyes clenched tight, unable to look at him as he worked me with his tongue and fingers. I could hear the wet sounds of my own pussy as he pushed me hard, taking me ever closer to that high came with the fantasy he had promised to fulfill. It was embarrassingly erotic and just enough of a combination to push me over the edge as came with a surprised groan that I tried to muffle with the pillow next to my head.

It had never been like this before. Not with other boyfriends. Not with anyone. Oral sex had always been glossed over, treated as a tit for tat obligation with the boys that I had been with. It had always been luke warm and slightly humiliating, but not this time. This was all Edward wanting me like this, tasting me, fucking me ever so wonderfully with his fingers while his mouth sucked my clit so masterfully that it as if he knew exactly how I needed it.

I felt the cool rush of air as Edward ripped the pillow away from my face while slowly pumping his fingers in and out of my pussy. I was left with nothing to hide behind, forcing me to close my eyes as if that motion would keep the sensation from swallowing me whole.

"Bella, watch me," he whispered raggedly as I shook my head no. I wasn't sure if I could look at him like this. It would be too real, too intimate and too much of reminder that this was just a game.

"Bella, look at me," Edward demanded while I continued to shake my head as I felt the low tremor of another orgasm starting to rumble throughout my overly tense body. I was close, so damn so that I could almost taste the sweetness of the release that I was chasing. It was right there, just there waiting for me to come find it once more.

"Watch me," he repeated in an angry tone, demanding my attention as I refused him. I couldn't look at him. I couldn't do it. I couldn't face him, not like this. Not this exposed.

"Bella," he growled in frustration as his fingers came to a complete stop causing my eyes to fly open in shock since I was just right there.

"Yes, look at me," he whispered more gingerly as my eyes met his. I could barely see him through the haze of sex and lust.

"Watch me," he whispered softly in a tender tone as I tried not to focus on the tense look on his face, but instead where his fingers were still buried in my pussy. I watched as he slowly removed them, letting me see my wetness that coated his fingers and how it dripped down his hand. It was mesmerizing because in all the times I had sex I had never witnessed it. I had always closed my eyes and willed myself away to enjoy it. Even the last time with him I never opened my eyes. It was too much, and I was too scared to find out if reality could rival fantasy even with Edward. I watched as he slowly thrust inside of me before curling his fingers deep to hit a spot buried deep in me that made me quiver beneath him with pleasure took my breath away.

The feeling of his fingers intensified as I watched him slowly fucking me in oblivion. It was deep and harsh. It was perfect and right. It was everything and I could barely breathe as I found myself spiraling out of control as I came hard on his fingers while watching him fuck me.

"So fucking beautiful," he whispered in a voice as I drifted down from my high as he continued to finger me slowly, helping me to come down while savoring the feeling of euphoria that always followed cumming so hard like that.

Edward slipped his wet fingers out of me as he slowly moved, showing me without trying how hard he was. I had never really seen him like this. The other time was all about the act; the need to fuck to burn up some of that sexual tension that had been in the air between us.

This was different.

It made my heartbeat even louder in my ears knowing that he was so fucking hard from making me cum like that. I watched wide eyed as he jerked his boxers down to free his dick with a low groan. I watched as it bobbled; thick and heavy as he kicked off his boxers. I waited for his next move while trying to catch my breath.

"I don't have a condom," he admitted in a tight voice as I watched him gripped his hard cock with his fingers still wet and sticky from my cum.

"I wasn't really planning on this" he confessed breathlessly while I watched wide eyed as he slowly stroked himself before me. It was a confession I was expecting. There was nothing planned about our night, but I liked it.

His cock wept pre-cum on my stomach as he continued to stroke himself faster with his dark blue eyes darting between my tits, my face and then finally my pussy. He looked hungry as he looked at me, watching me as I watched him touch himself.

It was strangely hot to watch Edward's hand twist and pump his cock as he debated on his next move while I lay before him; spread eagle and spent from his efforts to please me.

"I could pull out," he offered as if that was the best solution we had for the moment and it was in a way.

"I'm on the pill," I reminded him as I continued to watch as the anticipation built with each stroke of his hand on his cock. It was maddening since all I could think of was how good he would feel inside of me.

I wasn't sure if it was my assurance that I was on the pill or the fact that he couldn't take it any longer that made him move, but he finally did. Edward pulled me up upon the couch, creating more room for us before settling between my legs with a groan caused me to shiver in response.

"Oh god," I muttered as I felt his cock slowly push into me, stretching me in the best way possible as I pulled him ever closer while avoiding his stare.

"Look at me," he demanded in a rough voice as his body press against mine, pushing me into the cushions beneath me as he held me there. I turned my head just enough to meet his gaze. His eyes were dark and stormy with emotion as he held himself there, not moving, but so desperately wanting to that I could see the frustration outline upon his handsome features. He looked beautiful. He looked vulnerable. He looked like so perfectly consumed by the emotions of lust, want and something more that it took my breath away.

Without another word Edward began to move. He pulled back until just barely the tip of his cock remained inside of me before thrusting back hard and fast. His hands held mine as our lips connected in hungry kiss after kiss. It was intimate in a way that I wasn't used to when it came to sex and being this close to another person. I could not think or feel anything beyond Edward. He was everywhere, and it was everything I had fantasized that it would be.

I clung to Edward, tired and blissfully worn out while he continued to seek out his release. I listened to his low groans as I arched beneath him, moving my hips in time to his while urging him to take what he needed since he had already given me so much. I kissed his open mouth, savoring the taste of myself on his lips as he kissed me between ragged breaths.

"Edward, Edward, Edward," I whispered mindlessly as he continued to push me for more; more pleasure, more emotion, more everything. I gladly gave it to him, chasing the bliss that he promised me with each whisper that sounded like my name until pulling out with such lightening speed while I struggled to continue to hold him close. I was left to watch him on his knees above me, his head tossed back with a low, sexy moan on his lips as ribbons of cum spurt out of him with a force that caused them to land on my breasts and belly. I could not stop the stuttering gasp of surprise over how hot his cum felt on my bare skin while he moaned above me until there was nothing more he had to give.

We stared at each other in an odd sense of stunned disbelief. We were both unmoving, trying to catch our breath as his cum quickly cooled upon my skin. It was in that awkward moment of being uncertain to what to do next as we stared at each other that I could not stop the giggle that escaped from my lips. It filled the uncomfortable space between us, melting away what embarrassment that could have come from a moment like that and left us both laughing instead.

"You're beautiful," Edward mumbled with a soft laugh as he leaned to kiss me without touching the mess he had left upon my skin. His lips were warm and still tasted like sex even though his kiss was incredibly sweet.

"Even coated in your cum?" I teased him, trying to take the sweetness out of the moment by reminding him of epic level of perviness that we had reached in this moment.

"Especially coated in my cum," his snickered before pressing another sweet kiss against my lips that made my heart flutter within my chest foolishly. "Now hold still and I'll clean you up."

"And such a gentleman too," I mocked as I watched him stumble off on unsteady legs in search of paper towels. "Bet your mom would be proud."

"We've never had a discussion involving the etiquette involving pulling out, but I'm pretty sure she would not be impressed with me on this one." I listened to his laughter as he reappeared with a wet towel in hand before kneeling before me once more.

"Her loss," I muttered as he slowly wiped me clean so I could sit up once more.

I listened to his soft snort as he tossed the dirty towel back into the kitchen while I made a mental note to make sure that the towel was placed in the dirty laundry basket.

"You staying tonight?" I asked him, hating that I felt so needy when it came to Edward.

"Yeah, if you don't mind," he replied with a casual shrug as if it were nothing even though his answer didn't feel like nothing.

"I don't mind at all."

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**XOXO**

**Mamasutra**


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

"Look at them," Rosalie snickered as she motioned towards the glass patio door from where we sat at her kitchen table. I could see Edward standing there with his hands stuffed in his pockets nodding along to whatever Emmett was telling him. He looked cold and miserably adorable as he stood in the cold.

"I don't think I thanked you for coming over for dinner," Rosa continued on before going on about how nice it was that her mother in law had taken the kids so it was just us.

"It's nice to have another couple that Emmett actually likes the other guy."

"Yeah," I muttered just as Edward noticed my staring. His eyes locked with mine as he slowly grinned at me. Edward could charm anyone. I knew that all too well. He had charmed me countless times so why would Emmett be any different?"

"So, how long has it been?" Rosalie asked just as Emmett moved so that he was blocking my view of Edward.

"How long what?" I asked as I turned back to my friend who was watching me with a curious look on her face before refilling my glass of wine.

"This...Whatever it is that you're calling your thing with Edward," she said as motioned her hands around before sitting back down beside me while we watched the men grill steaks out in the cold.

"I don't know," I lied with a shrug as if it was no big deal, yet it was.

Forty one days and counting.

"You lie," Rose chuckled while I rolled my eyes in response. "Roll your eyes all you want, but I know you, Bella, and I know that you are not this casual when it comes to anything involving that guy."

"I'm not lying," I shrugged before taking a deep drink off of the glass of wine she had poured for me. "Edward and I are very cool about all of this."

"Oh yes, _very_ _cool_," she mocked as I looked out the window to see if Edward was close. "And where did you sleep last night?"

She knew it was at Edward's. I had been there all week. It started with a noble idea that I was just going over to do laundry since he had his own washer and dryer, but that was last weekend and somehow from there I just stayed.

"I helped him pack for his trip," I defended while she nodded her head. He was leaving on Monday for another week long training in DC. I hated it with all my heart, but I was not about to tell him that.

"Yeah, I heard he's packing something."

"You shut your mouth," I laughed as Rosalie cackled with laughter. "It's not _all_ sex with him, you know?"

My words caused her to pause for a moment as she grinned at me in a pleased manner.

"Oh, I know it's not all sex," she smiled at me as if I had admitted to something more than the nothing that rolled off my tongue. "I don't think _you_ know that, but yeah, I know it."

"You need to stop," I laughed as I tried to take away her glass of wine. "You've clearly had too much."

"Bella, what are you doing?" Rose asked me her ultra serious question with a slight smile on her face.

"I was drinking your cheap wine to drown out your crazy talk," I laughed as she shook her head at me. She was not amused, but I didn't care. She could get over it.

"Have you ever talked about what's going on between the two of you?" she asked as I rolled my eyes in response.

"There is nothing going on between us," I snickered nervously as she looked at me with a smart ass smirk that told me she knew differently.

"_Riiiight_," she laughed in an exaggerated manner that was nothing but annoying. "I mean, yeah, _everyone_ is banging their _bestie_."

"You wish you were banging me," I mumbled defiantly before taking another sip of the white wine she had poured for me while she cackled with laughter.

"I'm pretty sure that wouldn't go over well with boy wonder out there," she snorted as she motioned her glass of wine towards where the boys were standing.

"You are clearly not aware of Edward's love for girl on girl porn," I revealed as she laughed at me.

That was a lie.

Edward was not a fan of it. He had called it a terrible waste and I hated myself for knowing his porn preferences.

"You can make jokes all you want, Bella, but I'm serious," she snorted as I nodded. I knew she was and it was annoying as hell.

"I'm flattered that you care, but really Rose, don't you have enough going on with Emmett and the kids without worrying about my life?"

"You would think I would, but no…no I don't," she smiled at me while I rolled my eyes at her. "Besides, someone has to worry about you."

It was true. She did worry about me, but what she worried about was almost laughable in comparison to what my fears were.

"I gotta ask you something," she asked me slowly, as if she were bracing me for whatever terrible question that was on the tip of her tongue.

"Okay" I whispered as I swallowed another deep sip of wine.

"Has he never asked or mentioned anything about what's going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, Edward is a bright guy. He has to know what a good thing he has with you," she began in an almost defensive tone while motioning towards where he stood outside with Emmett.

"Know what he has with me?" I snickered like a smart ass, earning a death glare from the woman who had become one of my dearest friends.

"I'm just saying that I can't see him sitting back and not at least to talking about whatever fucked up mess is going on between the two of you," she shrugged, doing her best to down play it all, but I knew better. She was dying to know about us because I never spoke a word. I might mention him in passing, but she truly knew nothing about Edward and me.

"And for the record, yes, he would be lucky to have you and he has to know that."

"Whatever," I sighed as reached across the table to grab the bottle of wine that she had left out for us to drink.

"Are you trying to tell me that Mr. Serious over there has never mentioned moving beyond this weird limbo of sex and games towards something real?" she asked with a snort. "Because I won't believe you."

"I never said that," I confessed slowly before stopping to stare at her. "Why won't you believe me?"

"What did he say?"

"We never got that far as to him actually saying anything," I admitted slowly as I looked down at the glass I was twirling in my hand.

"What do you mean you never got that far?"

It was a damning question since to truly answer it I would have to admit to my portion of avoidance.

"I mean, we never got that far," I stated simply as I turned towards her with a bright smile. "More wine?"

"Bella," she sighed in a disappointed manner that made me feel small as I looked away in embarrassment once more.

"It's not that simple, Rose."

"Yes it is."

"No, it's not" I insisted as I felt the prickling of tears in my eyes as I turned to face her once more. My sudden tearful expression had my friend pausing for a moment before reaching out to take my hand.

"I have no idea what happened in the past, but I'll be honest, Bella, I find it so hard to believe that Edward maliciously broke your heart," she whispered as if the whole situation was the dirty secret that I had turned it into. "He just doesn't seem the type."

"I never said it was malicious," I corrected her as I wiped at my eyes to remove the tears that threatened to escape just as Edward appeared with Emmett trailing behind him. His cheeks were red from the cold and his eyes were bright as they searched the kitchen before settling upon me. I watched as the smile faded from his face as he looked at me with a worried expression.

I gave him my best smile as he crossed the space that separated us.

"Dinner about done?" I asked him as Rose launched into a running list of things that we had accomplished while they were outside.

"You okay?" Edward asked in a worried whisper while sliding his ice cold hands over my thighs and upwards under my sweater. I gasped as his icy fingers touched the warmth of my hidden skin. It was like a jolt to the system and gave me the chance to shake off the weepy feeling that the wine had brought on.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I lied with such ease that I almost believed it myself.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**XOXO**

**Mamasutra**


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Edward pulled me down next to him on the couch. We had barely had made it into his place before we both collapsed together.

"You and Emmett were friendly," I mentioned as I listened to his soft snicker.

"I like Emmett," he nodded while pulling me closer to him so I was tucked against him.

"Yeah?" I mocked while he nodded his head.

"Yeah, I do," he mocked as I laughed at him. "He's a little obsessed with his meat smoker, but outside of that he's one hell of a nice guy."

"Meat smoker," I snorted like a twelve year old boy earning a wide, sleepy grin from Edward.

"Is that all you talked about?" I asked him as I moved just enough to look at him better. It never failed to amaze me how handsome Edward was and how oblivious he was to it.

"We talked about your boyfriend," he commented with a casual shrug, but I could feel the tension in his touch.

"What boyfriend?" I laughed as I tried to think about who Emmett would have mentioned to Edward.

"I believe his name is Paul."

Paul Lahote.

He worked as a carpenter for Emmett's construction company. He was older than us by a few years and more than confident when it came to women. He had made it known that he was interested in me and had not let it go even though I told him countless times I wasn't interested.

"Paul's an asshole," I sputtered; surprised that Emmett would have mentioned him at all.

"Yeah, but you like assholes," Edward countered while I rolled my eyes.

He was right.

I did. It was a horrible, but I did and Edward knew it.

"I don't like him," I muttered as I listened to Edward's dark chuckle.

"Bella," he began slowly as he turned to look at me. His dark blue eyes held mine as I watched him ease a little closer. It set off warning bells inside of me that filled me with dread.

I had witnessed him like this before. I had seen the calm look on his face that was trying to hide the nervousness. His sweet smile that was supposed to put me at ease, yet never did. I clenched my teeth as I braced myself for the verbal blow that I knew was coming.

"I want to talk about us."

"I…" I began as he shook his head at me in effort to silence me.

"I think that you are amazing, Bella. I've always thought that," he began slowly as he held my hands in his.

"And I think you're amazing," I responded, repeating his words while I moved so that I was straddling his lap. Edward griped my hips to keep me from falling while I struggled to balance on top of him.

"What's the big deal?" I asked with a smile as he watched me carefully while I tried to dissuade him into talking about us.

"There is no big deal," he agreed slowly as he nodded his head as if he was done with this need to talk about us, but I knew better.

Edward rarely ever gave up. His tenacity was something I had always loved and hated about him. It was in that uncomfortable silence that I sat upon him, watching and waiting for him to speak until he finally did.

"Have you had fun?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you and me, this… this thing," Edward stuttered slowly as his hands smoothed over my denim covered thighs. I watched him take a deep breath in before blowing it out slowly.

"Do I make you happy?"

His questioned caught me by surprise, making me sputter out a simple yes.

"Really happy?" he asked me as I nodded wordlessly, unable to breathe under his watchful stare.

"Good… That's really good because you make me so fucking…" he began slowly in a voice that was thick with emotion. It was enough to cause my heart to stutter in my chest as waves of panic crashed over, drowning me with its fear. It was consuming as I struggled to come up with something, anything to stop this conversation from happen while image after image of him putting an end to us played out in my mind. It left me with nothing else to do, but to silence him the only way I knew how. I ran my hand up over his t-shirt covered chest, causing him to sputter for a moment as I distracted him with my innocent touch. It gave me just enough time to lean in to silence him with a soft kiss.

My lips lingered against his, moving slowly as I urged him to return my impromptu kiss. Normally, Edward was eager to respond, but this time he was hesitant, then ever so slowly his lips moved against mine until he was kissing me back with an urgency that matched my own.

"You promised me," I whispered against his lips as he groaned in frustration that could have come from my ending our kiss to me dodging the conversation he had attempted once more.

"You promised me fantasy." I reminded him breathlessly in between kisses that were too sweet to be the backdrop to discussing sexual fantasies.

I felt Edward stiffen beneath me for a fraction of a second as my words settled between us.

"Is that what you want?" he asked slowly as his hands slowly began to move along my hips and over my back once more. "You want fantasy?"

It was a simple, yet damning question.

In all my fantasies I had him. Edward was mine and nothing changed that. Fantasy was easy. It held no challenges, no heart ache and no past embarrassing failed seductions. In my fantasy Edward wanted me for always and not just to prove point or win a game.

Fantasy trumped the reality any day of the week, so it was an easy question to answer.

"Yes."

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**XOXO**

**Mamasutra**


	23. Chapter 23

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

I sprawled out on my bat up couch with a bowl of chocolate ice cream in my lap that was melting without being touched. I watched old episodes of The Office as a time filler, but I couldn't focus properly on them. I was too busy trying not to watch the clock.

Edward said he would call me eight.

I told him not to make promises since I knew he had to be busy. I reminded him that work came first even though the words were bitter on my tongue. I told him that I would wait, and he needed to take care what was important. I told him all of this and he would mumble his agreement, yet every night that he was gone at eight o'clock he would call me.

I waited for him, hating that I was waiting for his call. I hated that I was left to wonder if he would call me again. It was miserable and so was I.

Time crept.

I stared at the TV screen, watching the actors without really knowing what they were saying as I refused to look at my phone. If I looked at screen then I would see the time. If it was after eight I knew I wouldn't be able to take it since them it would mean that he had forgotten me and I didn't want to think about him not calling me even if I had told him to.

Just when I had worked myself up into a self-induced panic my phone vibrated followed by a shrill chime causing me to fumble for a moment before stuttering out a weak hello.

"I was just laying here, looking the other side of the bed," Edward breathed out, rambling on as if we were mid-conversation when I answered the phone.

"Yeah?"

"The bed is too cold, and far too empty without you in it," he continued on as if I hadn't spoken followed up with a discontented sigh.

"I can't sleep without you and it's slowly driving me crazy," Edward confessed softly as I listened to his breathing, not daring to say a word since I had no idea what to say.

"It's just twenty hours," he mused with a soft chuckle, reminding me how long it was before he was home, not that I was counting down the hours.

"Yeah," I managed to stutter with a shaky breath as I slowly loosened the death grip I had on my phone as I pressed it close to my ear.

"Would you come home with me next weekend?" he asked, changing the subject with his abrupt question.

"Home?"

"Yeah, back to Evanston," he explained casually, but there was a tension in his voice that screamed anything, but casual.

"This sounds pretty serious, Edward," I joked weakly, needing to take the discomfort out of the moment.

"Well, it's not every day my grandma turns eighty and my cousin gets married for the third time all in one weekend," he laughed along with me, but I could hear the strain in his voice.

"So what do you say? Want to be my date?"

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! We are on the downward swing here. Not too many more chapters to post. On the bright side I am working out a new story….**

**XOXO**

**Mamasutra**


	24. Chapter 24

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Friday morning came too early. I awoke to a blanket of heavy snow that continued to fall from the sky as I stared out into the empty street below. It was clear from the white out conditions that there would be no school, but instead of me being pleased with the day off all I could think about was how Edward was going to get home.

Without thought I grabbed my phone.

_It's snowing here._

I was only left waiting a moment before he responded.

_You love the snow. _

It wasn't exactly the response I was looking for from him.

_School is canceled._

I waited for his response, but instead of some text my phone rang loud in my hand.

"What's wrong?"

Edward.

He sounded distracted as he waited impatiently for my response.

"It's storming here," I commented calmly while listening to him breathe.

"I know."

"And its heading your way," I stated as I felt sick to my stomach as I thought about him stuck out on the East coast for another day instead of home with me.

"I know," he mumbled before calling out to whomever he was with that he would be right there.

"Listen, I have to go, but I don't worry I'll make it home okay," he promised me in a soothing whisper that made my heart tight within my chest.

"I'm not worried," I counted back in a rush of words that made him chuckle.

"Of course you're not," he snickered softly, not wordlessly calling me out on my fear of losing him.

"Just...Just be careful, okay?" I pleaded with him even though the rational side of me knew that he had no control of the flight or the bad weather he was flying into.

"I will," he promised in a distracted manner as I listened to some man barking out orders before Edward responded in a muffled grunt.

"Baby, I gotta go," he stated simply while causing me to sputter nonsense over the new nickname he had given me. "I'll call you from Chicago."

"Okay," I nodded my head in agreement even though he couldn't see me to appreciate it. I listened to his soft breathing followed by silence that told me he was gone.


	25. Chapter 25

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Time passes slowly when you are waiting for something. I spent my free day waiting for a phone call, a text, or some sign of life from Edward, but got nothing in return.

"You have to stop this," I chastised myself as I looked at my phone to see if I had missed his call when I gotten up to make myself a cup of coffee.

No messages.

It was hours later that my phone finally rang. I fumbled with answering as Edward's name lit up my screen.

"Hey baby," he greeted me softly with a playful tone that made me smile, but I could hear the fatigue he was trying to hide from me.

"Where are you?"

"What? No sweet words for me?" he teased me as I rolled my eyes at him while breathing out a sigh of relief that he was okay. "No _hey darling _or _what's up handsome?"_

"Fine," I mumbled while struggling to come up with something sweet to say to him, but I had nothing. I had never been good at the whole sweet talking.

"Oh Daddy when you will be home to give me some of the sweet dick candy?" I asked him in my best porn star voice and then waited for his laughter.

"You are _incredibly_ bad at this, Swan," he chuckled in an amused tone that made me laugh. "It's okay. I'm a patient man and more than willing to teach you how to do it right."

"Whatever," I snickered as I listened to his soft giggle before it drifted off into a tired sigh. "Where are you?"

"We made it to Chicago finally," he breathed out slowly as if he were bracing me for some bad news. "But the flight to Moline is delayed."

"How delayed?"

"Right now its two hours, but I don't know," he admitted to me as if he had failed me. "Mark's talking about getting a one way rental and driving home."

"The storm…" I warned him as I looked out the window at the falling snow that had not let up at all in the hours that had passed.

"I know."

"Just stay up there and drive back tomorrow," I encouraged him, but I could tell he wasn't listening to me.

"I don't know… I've got some dick candy to deliver," he snorted softly as I shook my head at him.

"You're an idiot," I groused at him while he continued to laugh at me.

"There you go, Swan, you know how I like it," he teased me.

"Edward," I whined, knowing damn well he was going to do what he wanted regardless of what was probably safe.

"That's it baby, say my name," he groaned softly as if it was the sexiest thing he had ever heard. It was ridiculous.

"You're a dork."

"Yes, yes, yes… Just like that. Don't stop."

"You want me to scream at you, don't you?"

"Yes, that it, scream for me, baby," he snorted with laughter as I growled in his ear.

"Come on," I whined to him. I needed him to be serious and promise me that he wouldn't do anything stupid like drive the two hours home in this storm.

"Oh you'll cum alright. You'll cum so hard you won't be able to feel your legs for an hour afterwards" he whispered to me softly in a teasing voice that reminded me of our first night together at the hotel.

"Please, Edward," I whined, doing my best to ignore him in his quest to distract me and the twist of butterflies in my belly from his words.

"I love it when you beg," he breathed out slowly, hinting at how his words were affecting him as well.

"Well then this really ought to get you off so I hope you have your tissues handy," I bitched at him. "I'm begging you to be safe. You hear that, Cullen? I'm begging you to be safe and think before you drive home in this madness."

My anger silenced him for a moment giving me the chance to calm down. I knew he was just trying to lighten the dark mood I was in, but I was in mood to play around with his safety. I wanted him home, but more importantly I wanted him home safe.

"Don't be pissed off just because I'm anxious to be with you," he countered back carefully, knowing that I was still angry from him teasing.

"I'm not mad over that," I scoffed. "I want you here too."

"How badly?"

"Is everything sex to you?"

"Not at all… But it seems like sex is the only way I can get you to communicate with me when it comes to us, so I take what I can get," he laughed nervously while I struggled to find some response. "I got to go, baby. Mark is calling me, but I promise I'll call you back."

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**XOXO**

**Mamasutra**


	26. Chapter 26

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

_**BAM**_

__The crashing sounds of metal on metal jerked me from my restless sleep and back to the present in a blink of an eye. I moved automatically on what felt like wooden legs towards the window to see if I could find the source of the booming sound, but only found a car creeping down the snow packed street instead while the blizzard raged on around it.

"What the hell," I mumbled aloud as I moved back to the couch while looking around my apartment as if the surrounding emptiness would have the answers to my questions. I leaned back amongst the pillows of my make shift bed for the moment and grabbed my phone.

"Bastard," I mumbled as I found no new messages from Edward and instead two were waiting for me from Jasper.

_Hey snow bunny stays warm &_ _don't forget the party tomorrow._

Followed up with a quick and simple message.

_ Bring Edward._

I wasn't sure how to take Jasper's wordless acceptance of this thing I had with Edward, but I was eternally grateful that he was. I took a quick glance at the time to find it was a little after two in the morning. It had been seven hours since I had spoken to Edward and three since my last unanswered text that I had sent to him.

_We'll be there _

I typed out slowly as I debated as to how I would ask before finally just typing out the words.

_Have you heard from Edward?_

With a shaky breath, I pressed send and waited, unsure if Jasper would actually be awake to answer it.

_No. _

_ Was it my week to keep track of him and no one told me?_

I felt the burn of irritation ignite in my veins as I read over his asshole comment. It left me itching to type out a scathing response as to how he was a shitty human being, but before I had typed a word there was a knock at my door. It was soft and deadly in the calm quiet that was two in the morning. It sent a jolt of panic through my system as I moved from the couch to the floor due to the irrational fear that somehow the person on the other side of the door could see me through the tiny peep hole designed for my safety.

I moved on my belly towards the door while taking my phone with me. I did not stop my ninja crawling until my back was pressed against the cold steel of the door as if that was another way to block whatever would be killer was on the other side from gaining access to me.

I quickly scrolled through my contacts to find Jasper.

"What are you doing up?" he asked me as I struggled to interrupt him.

"There's someone at my door," I whispered softly into the phone just as the soft knocking gained in strength to become louder.

"Who is it?" he asked through a loud yawn that hinted at the idea that I might have woke him up.

"I don't know," I hissed as I looked around me for some weapon, but came up short as I grabbed at the umbrella that I always kept by the door.

"Come over," I pleaded as I gripped the plastic handle tight in my hands while clutching it close to my chest.

"What?" he gasped as if I had suggested something horrible. "No way."

"Why not?" I demanded as I felt the door shake beneath the rhythmic knocking that was only growing with strength.

"Because it's a fucking blizzard out there," he laughed at me like the dick he always insisted on being. "Have you looked out to see who it is?"

"Are you fucking crazy?" I hissed in anger at him as he laughed in response. "What if it's a masked killer… or a clown… Or…"

"A merman… What if it's a merman?" he chimed with a snort of laughter.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I growled loudly, not caring that whoever was on the other side of the door could no doubt hear my angry response to Jasper's nonsense.

"Bella, if you're that worried that it's a killer… or a clown or a merman call the cops and let them deal with it," he yawned while I grumbled at him.

"Some damn friend you are," I growled in his ear while listening to his laughter. "You don't even care that there's a clown out there who wants to kill me."

The soft knocking that had graduated into an insistent knocking stopped abruptly causing me to whimper in response.

"Baby, it's just me," the voice called through the door causing me to fall silent while Jasper rambled on about how a blizzard would be a perfect time for a clown to go on a killing spree.

"Please open the door," he called out to me as I scrambled to stand up.

"Holy fuck," I gasped in surprise, not thinking of Jasper who was listening in, but instead of focused on the man who was on the other side of the door.

"Who's there?" he asked in an excited manner that I ignored as I struggled to open the dead bolt. With one final twist of metal on metal I was able to jerk the door open to find him standing there. His dark hair was messy and his clothes were wrinkled. He looked exhausted as he stood before me, covered in snow and looking more handsome than he had any right to be.

"Hey baby," he greeted me casually like it was nothing for him to drive through a snow storm just to stand outside my door.

"You never called back," I accused him breathlessly, trying to sound bitter, but failed miserably.

"My phone died so I couldn't call, but I never stopped thinking of you," he assured me with a slight grin.

"And I'm supposed to believe that," I scoffed breathlessly, not sounding nearly as pissed off as what I wanted. I stared wide eyed as he stepped closer to me so that we were toe to toe. There was something intimidating at the moment that caused my breath to hitch within my lungs as he observed me fluttering nervously for him.

"Yes," he replied simply just as he brought his icy hands up to cup my face. It was an innocent touch that left me reeling inside as I found myself leaning into his touch. Edward wasted no more time as he leaned down to press a soft, cold kiss against my lips. It was sweet and just enough to make me want so much more from him.

"May I come in?" he whispered against my lips in between kisses that were slowly building in heat. I giggled at his ridiculous question. He didn't need to ask and how well he knew that.

"Bella?"

"Bella?"

"Bella?"

I could hear Jasper's worried demands fighting for my attention as Edward breathed out a tired sigh before taking the phone from my hand.

"Hey man," he greeted Jasper with tired, yet happy tone. I watched him nod his head for a moment before speaking again. "Yeah, the flight was canceled, but Mark wanted to drive. Tomorrow is his kid's birthday."

"Yeah, it's good to be back," I listened to Edward laugh along to whatever it was that Jasper had said.

"She called you?" he questioned as he eyed me with an amused grin. "A killer clown, huh?"

"I never said it was a clown. Jasper said that," I insisted as I watched him roll his eyes.

"Yeah, later man," Edward snorted as he ended the call with Jasper before handing the phone back to me.

"Killer Clowns?" he questioned as I pulled him inside of my apartment and out of the cold hallway.

"I never said that," I challenged as he stepped in, shutting the door behind us. I watched him turn and lock the dead bolt before turning back to me with a grin that was more tired than amused.

"Never fear Swan, I will protect you from killer clowns," Edward teased while unzipping his coat before shrugging out of it and tossing it on my couch.

"How very gracious of you," I mocked while fighting the heat of an embarrassment and then watched him smile for me.

"And don't even think about mermen," he continued on with wicked grin. "I would never share you."

"No?"

"No way," he laughed as he shook his head at me before kicking off his shoes followed by pulling his t-shirt over his head. "You're mine, Swan and I do not share."

"Yeah, your mother told me that," I breathed out trying to make light of what he was saying since there was no way I could take him serious when he was discussing mermen.

"You know… that you're bad at sharing," I finished off awkwardly while he grinned at me. There was no doubt that Edward was truly enjoying my discomfort from the wide smile on his face.

"She did?" he questioned me with a slight laugh. "I had no idea that you two were so close. I guess that will make next weekend's visit that much easier, right?"

"I never said I'd be your date," I corrected him weakly while he shook his head at me with that damn cocky smile on his face.

"And you never said you wouldn't either" he reminded me, calling me out on the fact that I hadn't said no.

"Speaking of saying no…" I began as he cut me off with a loud yawn.

"I don't want to argue with you right now," Edward insisted with a smile as he stepped closer to take hold of my hand in his. "I drove almost seven hours in blizzard like conditions on a road trip that should have only been two, maybe three hours tops just to see your face and sleep with you."

I stared at him slack jawed as he unbuttoned his jeans while letting them hang off his narrow hips in the most suggestive manner.

"Don't give me that look, Swan," he countered back with a laugh as he mistook my lust stunned expression for one of possible disgust.

"I know what you're thinking and this isn't about sex," he assured me with a wicked grin.

"I never said…"

"Don't get me wrong, the sex is…. mind melting good… like songs should be written about it or maybe a federal holiday declared in its honor… and there will be sex… god help me there will be sex," he chuckled darkly as he looked at me in a wolfish manner that made me blush stupidly. "But when I say that I want to sleep with you I mean I want to sleep with you. As in I want to snuggle under the blankets with you and then listen to you giggle in your sleep. I want to wake up with your hair in my face, and your ass pressed perfectly against me with all the blankets gone because you've stolen them."

"I'm not a blanket thief," I defended myself weakly as I looked into his mesmerizing dark blue eyes.

"Yes, you are," he laughed at me as he pulled me behind him down the hallway towards my room while I attempted to shut off the lights behind. "But that's okay because I like it."

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**XOXO**

**Mamasutra**


	27. Chapter 27

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

The gray light of a snowy morning pulled me out of my slumber and back into reality. Try as I might, my internal alarm clock kept me from sleeping late, but that did not stop me from enjoying the sight before me.

Edward.

He lay sprawled upon me, trapping me against him with his legs while one hand clutched my boob like I was his teddy bear. It was sweet and sexy in an unexpectant way.

"I can't sleep when you're staring at me," he mumbled thickly before burying his face in my hair.

"I can't help it," I whispered to him as I felt his hand cup my one breast in an appreciative manner before running his thumb over my nipple in a teasing manner.

"You're kind of cute," I whispered with a hiss as I felt the twist of nerves in my belly while he continued to rub my overly sensitive nipple until it was a stiff peak.

"Yeah?" he mumbled against my neck, causing me to shudder in response just as his hand slipped under my shirt. I held my breath as his fingers trailed lazily over my belly and ribs, tickling me as I squirmed in his warm embrace, before reaching my breasts once more.

"Just kind of?" he questioned as he palmed my breast, squeezing it softly before releasing my flesh once more.

"Oh god," I whispered as his fingertips slowly circled my already painfully hard nipple.

"I thought you wanted to sleep," I reminded him as he began to grind his hard on against my ass in the most wonderful way possible.

"I do," he said with a smile that I could feel against my skin just as his finger slipped along my belly towards the edge of my panties. "But right now I'd rather be buried deep inside of you."

His suggestive words caught me off guard, causing me to gasp with surprise just as his fingers dipped beneath the plain cotton panties I wore. He didn't stop to let me catch my breath like he normally did. There was no easing me into the moment. No going slow with soft words. Just his fingers slipping along my slit before dipping instead of me as his teeth nipped at the sensitive skin of my neck. The pleasure pain of his teeth and fingers caused my hips to jerk against his hand as I cried out in shocked pleasure.

Edward's tongue soothed the bite make he created on my flesh while his two fingers pumped in and out of me as his palm ground against my clit perfectly.

"What do you need?" he asked me as he worked his fingers within me, taking me higher with each stroke, yet it wasn't enough. It was never enough when it came to Edward.

"More," I whispered breathlessly as he withdrew his fingers for a moment only to replace them with an additional finger.

"Ohhhhh."

I tried to stifle my moan, but it was almost impossible to do with the pleasure that coursed through my veins from his touch.

"No, no, no baby. I want to hear you moan," His whispered hot and breathy against my ear as he continued to push me closer to release.

"I need it," he breathed out in between wet kisses against my skin as he grinds his cock against my ass in time to the rhythm of his fingers fucking me. "I need to hear you moan for me."

"Oh god," I breathed out softly my hip jerked hard against his hand, grinding my clit against his palm while I reached blindly above me for something to brace myself against.

"You are so close, aren't you?"

I could hear the wonderment mixed with determination in his voice as he continued to twist his fingers in and out of me, pressing deep and retreating moved in time to his touch. I braced my hands against the padded good will head board, pushing back against him for leverage as the wet sounds of my pussy and our heavy breathing filled the air between us. It was perfect and not enough, yet just enough to send me flying as wave after wave of pleasure crashed over me.

I couldn't think or even breathe as Edward's fingers were suddenly gone. Emptiness followed by the ache of needing more was distracting allowing Edward to move me like a rag doll upon the bed. I struggled to catch my breath while riding my blissful high as he pulled me backward so I was flat upon my back before moving above me while riding himself of his boxers. I watched him, reaching out to touch him where I could as he kneeled above me. His cock was hard and dripping with pre cum as he stroked himself with fingers that were sticky from me.

"Tell me," he insisted as he moved above me. I held my breath as I watched him search for condoms that I knew weren't there. We had used them all, and I had not bothered to restock while he was gone. I waited to see how he would proceed. Going bare was something we had done before, but nothing consistently. He worried too much about pregnancy to throw them out the window no matter how faithfully I took the pill.

Without skipping a beat and without any protection, Edward worked his cock along my pussy. It was erotic as I watched him coat his cock in my wetness while teasing my clit with each bump against it.

"Oh," I moaned stupidly as he continued to tease my overly sensitive pussy, pushing me for more and more.

"What is it?"

Edward continued to slip his hard cock against me, pushing the tip inside only to pull back out once more.

"What do you need?" he asked me in a hoarse voice as he pushed in a little deeper as I gasped in response. He would let me feel the burn of being stretched mixed with the relief of easing the ache for him just for a moment before pulling back once more.

"You."

It was the answer Edward wanted for since as soon as I uttered the word he thrust deep. I could not stop the loud moan of pleasure pain that escaped my lips while he did not stop until he was seated deep within me.

Edward remained motionless, letting me adjust to him while he struggled for control. His dark blue eyes were lustrous with pleasure as he stared at me with a dreamy, yet almost pained expression. It was always in these moments that I felt my most bare to him since I had no idea what he saw when he looked at me like that. I wanted to believe that he saw the same breath taking beauty that I found in him.

His lips met mine in a sweet kiss while my legs dangled over his shoulders. I hissed through the painful pleasure as he slowly pulled out only to ease back inside just as slow.

"Too much?" he asked me between kisses that were supposed to ease me, but there was no hiding the pride in his voice. He knew it was too much. He knew that I was flying to high, too high, but he knew that I loved it too.

"Yes," I gasped as he thrust with more force before grinding against my clit so perfectly that I cried out for him.

"Want me to stop?" he asked smugly, knowing the answer before I could gurgle out a soft no as he held himself deep within me. It was all the affirmation he needed to proceed. It was maddening and sweet to the point of perfection as I clung to him. I scratched at his back. I pulled his hair. I would kiss and bite his neck while letting Edward take me any way he wanted until the saccharine of the moment grew to be too much even for him.

The sweetness of our long overdue reunion soon melted away as Edward's deep thrusts became hard and insistent in the most perfect way possible. I clung tight to my Edward, letting each wave of pleasure crash upon me as he pushed me over the edge once more, but it wasn't my release that I wanted. I had found my bliss to the point of being punch drunk from cumming. It was good, but I wanted more. I wanted his. I wanted to taste my name on his lips when he came. I wanted to hear his low, throaty moan that was mine alone. I wanted it all.

"Fuck," he moaned as he pushed deep within me. I clung to him while he pinned me to the bed with his hands and hips. I couldn't move, but I didn't want to either. I could feel the heat of his release as he continued to move slowly within me until there was nothing more of him to give while I kissed him back down from his high.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**XOXO**

**Mamasutra**


	28. Chapter 28

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

We stood huddled together in the foyer of my apartment building waiting for the taxi I had called. Edward held me close offering me his warmth, but the scowl from earlier was still firmly etched on his face.

"Come on," I whined as he continued to rub my hip mindlessly as he stared off into space with that damn scowl.

"I promise we don't have to stay," I reminded him for what had to be the hundredth time after announcing that we were going to the party that Jasper insisted in throwing this weekend.

"Oh, I know we won't stay," he confirmed in a determined voice that made me laugh.

"You getting old Cullen?" I teased him, earning an eye roll from the man who held me close in effort to keep me warm. "I remember a time when you would have been all over this party."

"I'm not getting old," he countered back before giving me an easy. "I'm just a little more selective over how I want to spend my Saturday night."

"Oh yeah?"

"Oh yeah," he grinned while mocking me just as the glass door swung open, blasting us with icy air while some nameless man that I recognized from down the hall walked in.

"Whatever," I snorted breathlessly against the cold as I slipped my hands into his coat pockets.

"Just because I'd rather spend the night eating pizza, watching Netflix and fucking you silly doesn't mean I'm old," he grinned bright as my neighbor turned to look at us with a surprised look before stumbling away from us in a hurry. "It just means I have better things to do now."

"Better things to do meaning me, huh?" I laughed at slowly trying to hide the sharp sting that came along with his teasing comment.

"You've always been my favorite thing to do," he assured me much like the asshole that he could be before stealing a kiss to soothe the burn in my chest over his casual comment as to what we were doing together.

"Cab's here," he announced before pulling me out the door into the freezing cold that awaited us.

The drive was a short one since Jasper only lived a few blocks over. I listened as Edward and the driver made small talk before pulling up before Jasper's building. I quickly paid the driver, cutting Edward off in the process before jumping out into the cold without him.

"I was going to pay for that" he insisted with an irritated edge to voice.

"I don't need to you pay for things all the time," I shot back as I skirted the snow bank to find an easier way on the sidewalk. "I have my own money, you know?"

"I know you do," he assured me just as I felt his hand take hold of mine. I turned to give him a dirty look since I was growing tired of his need to pay for everything. It was insulting in a way that he didn't understand.

"I just like doing things for you, Bella," he explained stupidly with a shrug as if that was it. "Sometimes paying for things is the only thing you'll let me do for you."

"Oh come on," I called him out on his bullshit with a laugh as he pulled me close to him. Edward took hold of both hands, warming them a little as we stood chest to chest in the middle of the sidewalk like the idiots we were together.

"You never let me in, Bella," he insisted softly as he looked down at me with a slight smile that was more pained that playful.

"I let you in all the time," I laughed weakly trying to make a joke out of all the time we had sex, but it fell flat as Edward just shook his head with a grin that matched mine.

"There's more to life than sex, Swan," he smiled before pressing an icy kiss on my stunned lips before pulling me towards Jasper's apartment door.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**XOXO**

**Mamasutra**


	29. Chapter 29

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

"I can't believe you're here," I snorted before taking another long drink off my bottle of beer. I watched Rose shrug in a bored manner as she looked around at the nameless people around us.

"Jasper is my friend," she lied smoothly causing me to laugh loud enough that the group next to us turned to stare.

"Okay, he's _not_ my friend," She whined as I waited for the real reason as to why in the hell she was at Jasper's lame ass party. "But Emmett and I finally had a night where we could go out and… and this was all that was going on."

"Really?" I mocked her as I looked over to where Edward was standing with Emmett. I could see him leaning against the wall with a glass in his hand laughing at whatever Emmett had told him.

"You shut the fuck up," Rose laughed while giving me a playful push. "The better question is why are you here?"

"Jasper," I gulped while she rolled her eyes at me.

"Yeah, I would have thought that Slugger would have had you naked and hand cuffed to his bed after a week apart," she snickered while waving at Edward who was now watching us.

"I don't like handcuffs," I admitted as I waved at him, hoping like hell he was over his pissy mood.

"Really?" Rose inquired as she eyed me curiously.

"I like to be able to touch him," I breathed out as I turned away from Edward to look at Rose who just stared at me with a stunned expression before laughing. "Laugh all you like, but the man has an amazing body."

"I bet," she chuckled while dragging me into another room.

"You have no idea."

"Actually I do. You were pretty descriptive, especially about his dick," she teased while elbowing me playfully. It was my mistake for drinking with her when I told her about Edward.

"Are you still composing a sonnet in his dick's honor?"

"You shut your damn mouth," I laughed as I covered my face to hide my embarrassment from her, but it was too late.

"Oh stop it," she laughed as she wrapped an arm around my shoulder. "I think it's kind of adorable to see you so wrapped up in a guy and… And Edward is a great guy, you know?"

"You like him?"

"As long as he's good to you I do," she assured me as she motioned that someone was waiting to talk to me. I turned to find Emmett's friend Paul Lahote.

Paul was handsome in a dangerous way and so not my type. It's not that I wasn't attracted to him or that he wasn't a decent person. It was that he wasn't what I wanted. He was second best with his handsome smile and muscular build. Maybe a while ago I would have jumped at the chance to make a mistake with him, but not now.

"Bella," he greeted me with a smile as I waved, but instead of ending it there I found myself wrapped up in a loose embrace that caught me off guard.

"Paul," I smiled as I stepped back to create some space between us once more while he greeted Rose. I smiled and nodded while they talked about projects that the two men were working followed by some mutual friend before Rose excused herself to get us some more drinks.

"So" Paul began with a slight grin that was just flirty enough to make me uncomfortable.

"Yeah," I mumbled as I looked around for Edward. I knew he had to be nearby. He never strayed far from me at parties. He had been like that since our college days.

"So my buddy's band Foreskin is playing at The Brew next weekend," Paul began with a grin that had no doubt landed him in many other women's beds, but it was doing little for me.

"Sounds great," I mumbled as I scanned the crowd once more for the tall, dorky yet handsome man that I had arrived at this god forsaken party with.

"So you want to go?" he asked not bothering to hide the smug pleased tone in his voice.

"I'm going to have to pass," I smiled trying to muster up some sort of regret for saying no, but found nothing. "I have a date with Edward."

I watched as Paul's eyes went wide with surprise for a moment before he nodded his head as if it were nothing.

"I didn't know about you and him…" he began as I cut him off.

"We're going back to his parent's house in Evanston," I explained pointlessly as I watched Paul's ego deflate before my eyes.

"Meeting the parents huh?" he chuckled nervously as I watched him look around the room trying to make his escape before mumbling a good bye as he walked away.

Rose had barely arrived with two bottles of beers in hand when then yelling began. It was loud and confusing as we moved with the crowd towards the source of the commotion. It wasn't until I heard Edward's voice that panic set in causing me to push my way through the masses to see him. Edward stood facing Paul with a slight snarl on his face as Jasper filled the space between the two men.

"I have no fucking clue what you are talking about," Paul insisted gruffly while Edward shook his head at the man.

"What's going on?" I demanded as rose appeared at my side. Jasper turned to look at me and rolled his eyes in response.

"Seriously don't fucking ask, Bella," he answered causing Edward to spin to look at me. He looked slightly drunk and so fucking adorable that it made my heart skip a beat.

"There you are," Edward greeted me as he held out his hand for me. I stepped forward and greedily took hold of his hand.

"What the hell are you doing?" I asked him as I allowed him to pull me close to him.

"Calm the fuck down, Cullen," Paul laughed as I looked form Edward to Paul.

"What the hell is going on?" I demanded, hoping that one of them would tell me what had happened.

"I don't know," Paul shrugged while Edward stiffened defensively against me. "He just came up to me bitching about fish and the sea. I think he's drunk."

"I'm not drunk," he demanded with a laugh. "Buzzed maybe. Drunk? No way."

"You see her," he said as he motioned towards me once more while Paul watched us with an amused look on his face. "This is my fish. Don't touch my fucking fish."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Paul laughed while looking around the crowd for some form of affirmation that he was right and he was. I had no idea what the hell he was talking about.

"Take him home," Jasper insisted with a laugh as I wrapped my arm around his waist and slowly pulled him away from the mess he had created with his rambling.

"Let's go home, Slugger," I whispered to him with a smile that I hoped was inviting. My words caused him to stop his rambling and look at me.

"Slugger?" he questioned his newly minted nickname while fighting a grin as his turned to look at me instead of glaring at Paul.

"You wanted a nick name, right?" I teased while pulling him away from the crowd little by little.

"Where did that come from?" he asked as he stumbled along with me.

"I'll explain it later," I promised as Rose silently helped guide him towards were Emmett was waiting by the door with all our coats in hand.

"You puke in my car and I will fucking kill you," Rose threatened while Emmett shook his head.

"He's crazy, Rosie, not drunk," Emmett laughed as we all struggled to slip our coats on out in the cold.

"Yeah, he's something," Rose murmured as Emmett wrapped his arm around his wife before leading her towards their car and leaving us alone.

"You are crazy," I whispered to him as he pulled me against him to before dipping down to steal a kiss.

"And you're my fish," he grinned silly between icy kisses that took my breath away faster than cold air around us.

"Say you're my fish," he insisted playfully just as Emmett honked the car horn at us.

"Fine, I'm your fish," I agreed to his nonsense with a laugh as he smiled bright and stupid for me.

"But you're my duck," I teased him with the same nonsense that he was playing with. As soon as I spoke the words Edward stopped. The smile on his face faded just a little before returning full force.

"Oh, baby, I was born to be your duck," he whispered with such conviction that it made my heart pound in my chest.

"Get in the car if you want a ride home," Rose yelled as the car pulled up causing me to stiffen in his embrace just enough to put an end to whatever emotion that swirled around us.

**AN:  
>Thanks for reading!<strong>

**XOXO**

**Mamasutra**


	30. Chapter 30

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Sunday flew by as we avoided talking about Edward's very public declaration and instead focused on the tasks at hand. We had to collect his suit case from the airport since it had finally arrived. We had laundry to do and movies to watch. We had nothing to occupy our time and everything to avoid saying.

It made for a long day.

It was late in the afternoon long after I had started a batch of chicken and noodles in the Crockpot that I abandoned an unusually quiet Edward to finally shower.

"You want me to join you?" he asked with a sly grin as he looked up from whatever work email he had avoided while on travel the past week.

"I would love it, but…" I trailed off as I watched his eyes light up for a moment before I shot him down. "Jasper will be here any minute so I supposed that at least one of us should be dressed."

"Damn it." I listened to him mutter before sighing in an agonizing manner.

"You didn't have to invite him," he reminded me with a frown as he watched me pull my shirt over my head before tossing it towards where his washer and dryer were hidden near the kitchen.

"What is your problem with him?" I asked as I shimmied out of my pants so that I was standing there in my bra and underwear.

"Right now?" he laughed as he sat his lap top aside before standing up to cross the space between us. "Right now I'm a little pissed that he's keeping me from showering with you."

"Yeah?" I mocked while rolling my eyes at his irritation. There was something more, but what it was I had no idea.

"Oh yeah, we are wasting precious resources by showering separately," he smiled as he moved to stand in front of me.

"Precious resources?" I questioned him mockingly while he nodded in response.

"Water and the natural gas used to heat the water," Edward explained as he reached out to trace the lace that barely covered the tops of my breasts. "Natural resources are not infinite."

"I had no idea that you were so passionate about conservation," I teased as I slipped my fingers through his belt loops to pull him close to me. Edward's fingers dipped beneath the lace to tease at my nipples that were already pebbled with excitement.

"There are a lot of things I'm very passionate about." Edward smiled, breaking his focus on my nipples to look at me. His blue eyes were dark and stormy with want causing my belly to twist with nerves since I knew that look. It left me aching in the best way possible.

"Yeah? What?" I tried to laugh but it came out as a nervous snort instead.

"When is Jasper supposed to be here?" he asked as he cocked his head to the side. He was trying his best to look innocent, but there was nothing innocent about Edward Cullen.

"In about an hour," I breathed out as his fingers slowly traced the elastic band of my underwear before slipping under the band.

"That's plenty of time for me to show you what else I'm very passionate about," he assured me with a slight grin that made me laugh.

"If this is where you give me your lecture about solar energy," I laughed breathlessly while he shook his head.

"No solar energy," he chuckled softly. "Just you."

"Me?" I laughed, trying my best to down play what he was saying because it was too much. It was too close to the conversation that I was trying to avoid with me.

"Yes, you."

"Edward," I breathed out nervously as I felt his fingers slip under the material of my undies before grasping the band tight in his hands. I held my breath as he leaned in for a kiss.

"Yes, baby?"

His words vibrated against my lips as he paused for a split second before pressing a kiss against my lips. The heat from his touch had me pulling him into a heated embrace.

"Call Jasper and cancel," he whispered against my lips so softly that I almost felt the words over hearing them.

"What?" I sputtered as if I had been doused with ice water. "Why?" I asked as I stepped back, putting space between Edward and I.

"Why can't it be just you and me for once?" he asked slowly as if he were easing me into the idea.

"But we always…"

"I know we do, but I what if I just want you?"

"I…" I stuttered as I looked into Edward's dark blue eyes and was startled with how he was pleading with me just for this one thing.

"I don't think I can tonight," I finally admitted as I watched the hope fade from him eyes. "But we can skip it next week."

"You promise?" he insisted as he looked at me, practically forcing me to agree to this change.

"Yeah sure."

**AN:  
>Thanks for reading! I hope to update again (maybe twice) later on tonight.<strong>

**XOXO**

**Mamasutra**


	31. Chapter 31

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

I had barely toweled off when the door bell rang.

Jasper.

"You got it?" I yelled out to Edward, who had gotten out of the shower before I had.

"You wanted him here," he reminded me as he appeared barefoot and wearing only his jeans while running a towel through his hair.

"You want me to answer the door naked?" I questioned with a laugh before shrugging. "Fine. I guess it doesn't matter since he's seen me naked before."

I barely moved past him when Edward caught my arm with a light grasp to stop me.

"Get dressed and I'll take care of Japer," he ordered with a scowl while I snorted at him.

"Be nice," I called out after him as I listened to his plodding footsteps while he bitched.

"I don't have to be nice to anyone who has ever seen you naked," he yelled back mockingly as I shut the door to at least give the pretense propriety.

I could hear Edward open the door and greeted our friend with a rough grunt followed by the slamming of the front door while I busied myself trying to get dressed.

"Where's Bella?"

"She's getting dressed," I listened to Edward explain as if it were common knowledge that I was practically living with him now.

"Ummm…okay," I listened to Jasper's soft response followed by a heavy sigh. "You want to tell me what all that shit last night was about?"

"What?" Edward slightly laughed.

"Listen man, I love you, but there is no way I'm okay with you screwing around with Bella's feelings," Jasper shot back in a low growl. "Is that what she thinks?" Edward demanded from him while I hid in the hallway listening to their exchange. "She thinks I'm screwing around with her?"

"I don't know," Jasper admitted with a heavy sigh. "But why the fuck wouldn't she?"

"Listen man," Jasper began once more after a tense moment of silence while I struggled to breathe enough to make my presence known.

"I told you, your best bet is to be honest with her and so far I haven't seen one honest action from you," Jasper began to lecture while Edward remained silent.

_Honest._

_ Edward wasn't being honest._

Jasper's accusation swirled in the air around me as I struggled to remain hidden just as flight or fight kicked in. I couldn't deal with Edward right now. I didn't want to know the truth that he was hiding since the truth was never kind to me when it came to Edward.

_You gotta get out of here._

The words screamed in my brain as I finally moved. It was a poorly planned escape as I found myself tripping over my own feet before landing face first down on the carpeted hallway floor.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**XOXO**

**Mamasutra**


	32. Chapter 32

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

I could see him in the distance making his nightly sprint to his car.

"Jasper!"

He barely paused as he kept walking like a man on a mission towards the piece shit Toyota that he had driven since our freshman year of college.

"I know you can hear me," I called out to him as he continued to ignore me like always.

"It's after hours, Swan," Jasper yelled without ever looking back at me.

"I didn't know there was a closing time on our friendship," I bellowed back and then waited for the words to hit their mark. It was obvious when then did since Jasper's steps faltered and he finally slowed down allowing me to catch up with him.

"Why are you in such a fucking hurry?" I growled, nearly slipping on the remaining ice that mid March left in the parking lot.

"I have a date with Jane," he smiled like a Cheshire cat while I rolled my eyes while mocking her name under my breath.

"Watch yourself Swan," he chuckled darkly while pulling out his keys to unlock the doors. "One would begin to think that you're jealous of Jane and me."

"Like I would ever be jealous of your flavor of the month I laughed as Jasper scowled almost comically over my assessment of his love interest. "What the fuck ever."

"What do you want?" he demanded, cutting straight to the point now that I had pissed him off.

"What did Edward tell you last night?" I demanded, equally irritated as what he was.

"Of course," he snorted while shaking his head in a pitiful manner. "It's all about Edward."

"You shut up."

"I will the moment you stop all this bullshit with him."

"I can't," I insisted while he laughed at me.

"You want to know what he said just ask him."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because…"

"Because you're a chicken shit?" he laughed while opening the door to get in the car.

"No."

"How many times have I told you to take a chance?"

"Yeah, I took a chance once…"

"Now we're back to that," I listened to him sigh in a dramatic manner that only made my blood boil with rage.

"Don't you dare," I hissed while Jasper grinned like the asshole he was. "You know that I moved on… I had to move on… He didn't want me and… And that was okay."

"_Okay_?" he asked me, knowing all too well that it wasn't okay. There was nothing okay about me asking Edward out and him telling me that he liked me, but he couldn't see dating me. He thought I was amazing, but not what he wanted. How it wasn't me, it was him, but we both knew as we sat under the stars that it was totally me and he just didn't want to hurt me by saying it.

"Yes, _okay_," I insisted while he shook his head at me, silently calling me the fucking liar that I was when it came to that moment in time.

"Was it okay when he dated your roommate?"

Leave it to Jasper to go right for the jugular, reminding me of a past that I tried to avoid.

"No."

"Okay then, at least own your anger, Bella," he sighed while I looked down at the pavement beneath me. "For the record, no one has enjoyed watching him suffer because of you more than me."

"I don't know how much suffering he's done because of me," I commented like it was nothing instead of the hot topic conversation that Jasper liked to go to when he was upset with Edward for whatever reason.

"He has, Bella. Trust me, he has," he snorted as he turned away from me to leave once more. "Watching him think that he's lost you a few times always made me smile."

"Yeah… About that," I whispered causing him to look at me with a critical eye.

"You know, I asked him what the fuck was going on between the two of you and he had nothing to say. He was all worked up over the idea that somehow you didn't think that he hung the fucking moon," Jasper commented while watching me flinch over his words. "You want to tell me what's going on?"

"No," I stated simply as I took a step back from him as I waved my hands as if I could make the whole exchange between us disappear. "As a matter of fact, just forget that I ever spoke to you."

"Bella, what's going on?" he demanded in a tired voice that made me cringe. "Don't try to tell me that there's nothing going on because that's bull shit."

"Really, Jas…"

"First, we've got E with his hands all over you and then he was ready to fight Paul because he touched you," Jasper rambled on as I looked away in hopes that I could escape. "Don't get me wrong I would have loved to see it since Paul would have handed him his ass, but then E does this weirdo public declaration."

"Yeah, I know, but it was nothing," I tried to assure him.

"I don't know, Bella, he about pissed his pants over the idea that you were upset with him," Jasper shook his head. "I told him to be honest with you, to tell you if he's interested."

"Oh, he's told me he's interested," I laughed nervously as I thought about all the times I had been with him.

"About fucking time," he breathed out in a pleased manner that shocked me. "I mean, all the years of listening to him piss and moan over you when he was the one who screwed it up to begin with."

I nodded my head and listened to him ramble while I tried to act like nothing was wrong.

"What is that look for?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that constipated look on your face."

"I'd rather not go into it."

"Why?" he insisted with a laugh that only added to my misery.

"Because you're going to judge me."

"Of course I'm going to judge you. I'm your friend, that's what I do."

"I'm sleeping with Edward."

I waited for some reaction, but Jasper gave me none. He waited for a long moment before shrugging.

"That's it?" You're sleeping with him?"

"Yeah."

"And?"

"And what?"

"And does he like freaky shit?"

"What?"

"Does he like to get pegged or dress as a furry?"

"What?"

"Tell me something that will make knowing that worth my time."

"I don't know… He… He offered sex, and I… said yes," I explained with a shrug that was nowhere near as casual as what I had wanted.

"Wait…" he breathed out in a confused manner as he looked at me.

"Just forget I told you that and tell me if he's mentioned anything about breaking things off with me?" I asked as I watched Jasper stare at me in disbelief.

"Did you guys have a fight?"

"No."

"Then why would he break up with you?" he asked and then watched me flinch.

"We aren't dating so…"

"What do you mean you're not dating him?"

"I mean I'm not dating him. I've never been on date with Edward," I explained slowly as I tried to avoid his gaze. "I guess he asked me out for next weekend… to come home for a family wedding, but… but I haven't really sad yes to that yet."

"What the fuck," I listened to him mutter while I took another deep breath to continue on in my quest to find out what Edward had planned.

"I guess I was wondering if he mentioned anything since I'm pretty sure we're calling whatever it is that we're doing quits after this," I managed to say while Jasper stared at me in what could only be horror.

"He's never asked you out?" he demanded in an incredulous tone that made me cringe with embarrassment.

"No," I shook my head. "He asked me to have sex with him. He's even offered to fulfill my fantasies, but date? No."

The expression on Jasper's face remained frozen in horror as I confessed my fucked up relationship with our mutual friend.

"Bella," he finally breathed out in a voice that was ripe with pity.

"Don't," I barked at him as I looked at the cloudy, darkening sky above us. "Don't be all _poor Bella_ with me, okay? I wanted this. I wouldn't have done it if I didn't want to."

"I know… I just don't understand," Jasper mumbled as he looked away from me for a moment before looking back at me with a worried look on his handsome face.

"What is there to understand?" I laughed, trying my best to make light of the grim situation that I was in. "You know how I feel about him."

"I do," he nodded his head. "And I know how he feels about you."

"Jasper, don't," I stopped him right before he had a chance to begin ranting about Edward's so called love for me. "It's not like that."

"Bella…"

"It's okay. I'm okay with it. I knew it would come to an end. Of course, it would come to an end, I just… I just need to know if this it," I stated as calmly as I could while trying not to fidget since that would reveal my nervousness over the whole mess I was in.

"What makes you think that he would call it off?" he asked, taking me by surprise. "Maybe he wants more. Family get togethers is a pretty serious date and Edward is… Edward you know? Have you ever thought about that?"

Jasper was always optimistic.

"I'm not dumb, Jas," I reminded him. "If he wanted more… If he had wanted more from me like what you so kindly want to believe this whole thing wouldn't have started with hotel sex and fantasy."

"I…"

"Is Jane a long term commitment?" I asked him abruptly causing him to sputter a no followed by how Jane was fun. Jane was now. Jane was not forever. I knew all of this.

"And when you decided you wanted to have some fun with Jane now did you offer up your services to fuck her?" I asked and then watched him shake his head with a stunned look on his face.

"He did what?"

"It doesn't matter… I just need to be prepared for the end and...Edward is making it difficult. He keeps saying all this shit... the proclamations…Him saying how won't let him in…The acting like we are a _we…_It' too much and he just refuses to stop," I rambled on while Jasper listened as he looked out over the busy street in front of us.

"Maybe he does want more," he commented, earning an eye roll from me in response. "If he was looking at ending it why would he do it after bringing you home?"

"That's easy," I laughed causing Jasper to grimace. "Fantasy."

"How is seeing his mother fantasy?"

"Jasper, you know the biggest fantasy I've ever had was being with him," I gently reminded him. "Dating him… being with him is what I've always wanted."

"Bella, I don't think…" Jasper defended slowly while I shook my head.

"It is and… I have no doubt that he is well aware of it."

"I don't think so."

"It doesn't matter," I sighed as I looked out over the darkening sky. "If he doesn't end it then I will."

"I think you're over reacting."

"Look me in the eye and tell me I'm wrong," I insisted as I turned to face him once more. "Tell me that this isn't fucked up or that all great love stories…hell, even a mediocre love story that began with random sex ever ended happily?"

Jasper didn't answer me because he knew better. There were none and we both knew that.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**XOXO**

**Mamasutra**


	33. Chapter 33

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**EDWARD POV**

The music blared around me as I looked at my phone to read over the recipe once more before turning back to the ingredients that I had complied on the counter. It made it so that I almost missed the knocking on the front door.

"You could use the key I gave you," I laughed as I opened the door expecting to find my girl with an embarrassed look on her pretty face, but instead there was Jasper. The smug look on his face left me feeling sick to my stomach since I had seen that look before. It was the look that greeted the morning after Bella's drunken attempt at seduction.

"You gave her a key?" he questioned with a laugh before brushing by me to enter my home.

"Bella is on her way over so…" I began in hopes that the threat of him looking less than stellar would stop whatever bullshit storm that was brewing around him.

"I doubt that," he commented with a snort before sitting back on my couch like he belonged there.

"No, I'm pretty sure she'll be here," I corrected him as I closed the door, but not before looking for the beat up piece shit that she drove. She needed a new car, but refused to part with that piece of crap.

"She comes over every night," I explained while taking one last look for her, but no such luck.

"Yeah, we'll see about that," he yawned while looking around at my place. I wondered if he could see her woven into the room like she belonged here. Her red sweater was draped over the back of the chair. Her favorite blanket was folded and placed at the end of the couch. The book she was reading on the coffee table next to some tangled yarn that was supposed to be a future scarf to keep me warm next winter. A picture of us that she took when we were in bed was hung up on the fridge. Bella was everywhere I looked, and I liked it that way.

"What are you doing here?" I demanded from him with a tired sigh as I waited for whatever bullshit he had stirred up.

"I know about you and her," he reminded me as I nodded.

"I know. I told you," I nodded while motioning for him to speed up whatever power play he was attempting to a pull off.

"You didn't tell me how badly you were fucking up though," he snickered while I shook my head.

"You know, I can't wait for her to figure out who you are," I mumbled while he continued to laugh at me.

"I'm her friend and she knows that," he continued to chuckle as if the whole damn thing was funny and not petty or bullshit. "You, on the other hand, are just some guy that wanted sex."

"You know what? You can get the fuck out," I walked towards the door and opened it before motioning for him to leave.

"That's it?" he asked, amused with my reaction. "What if I told you that after a heart to heart with my friend she agreed to end things with you because you know, who wants to get used?"

"You know after the last time you lied to her…. and you did lie to her about me dating her skanky roommate because _that_ never fucking happened, not that she believed me. I mean, if Jasper said it had to be real, right?" I laughed at him while trying to remain calm. It was almost impossible as I watched him smile smugly in return. "I've tried to understand what power you have over her. I mean, she trusts you and...And you just fucking use it against her."

"I never…"

"Oh, but you do," I interrupted him while continued to rant about how he would never hurt Bella. "It's like you can't stand to see her happy."

"I can't stand to see her happy?" he laughed at me as if I had told him a joke. "Sure, okay, but you're the one who can't tell her the truth."

His words were damning even if he didn't realize how damning they were. He had no idea how accurate he was. I couldn't tell her the truth about how I felt because Bella was Bella. She was a ball of nervous energy and fear. She focused on the negative too much since it was easier to believe that over what could be. She wanted the best, but feared it more than anything.

"I do tell her the truth. I tell her that I need her and that she is my world. I tell her that she's wonderful and worthy and perfect and… everything that anyone could ever want, but you know she doesn't believe me. She's bought all that negative bullshit you've told her throughout the years so I'm constantly trying to correct what's in her head," I shrugged as I watched his eyes blaze with fury while he clenched his fists tight as if he were struggling not to hit me. It would have been amusing if wasn't so pathetic.

"I love Bella," Jasper shot back in a fit of anger that was almost laughable for all the lies that came with his righteous indignation.

"So do I" I countered while I watched him sputter in response as silence filled the space between us. I looked at Jasper only to find him staring at me in what appeared to be stunned amazement.

"I love her," I repeated as Jasper continued to stare. "And… she loves me."

"I don't think…"

"She does," I assured him even though I could see the refusal to believe me building in his eyes. "She loves me. She hasn't admitted to it and I'm pretty sure if you asked her she would deny it, but I gotta believe that she does."

"She doesn't know what she wants," he muttered defensively as he turned to leave just as the door opened to reveal a surprised looking Bella. Her whiskey colored eyes were wide with shock as she looked from me to him.

"Jasper?" she questioned, truly surprised to see our so called mutual friend leaving my place in a huff of anger. "I thought…"

"That's the problem, you never think," he mumbled with spite as he moved to step around her. "Just… just don't come crying to me when it's over."

"Jasper? What the fuck?" she called after him while I watched him storm off to sulk while Bella lingered in my door way. I waited for her to chase after him like always since that was what she did. He would react and she would follow. It was a wicked cycle that I had watched over and over again throughout the years.

"What the hell happened?" she asked as she turned to look at me with a confused looked on her pretty face while I waited for her run.

"I…" I stuttered for a moment trying to come up with the right words to say that would keep her with me before finally caving to go with my typical response. "You know how Jasper is."

I watched her nod her head in agreement even though she had no idea how Jasper was. She had no idea that he was vindictive and a liar. It was the worst kind of fuckery, but I wasn't going to be the one who told her. I would leave that Jasper to break her heart.

I continued to watch her as she stood in the door way, watching him drive off like the jack ass he insisted on being. I knew I only had minutes before she would chase after him.

"You staying?" I asked her, trying to sound casual, but even I could hear the pleading in my voice. My girl looked out over the road where Jasper had just driven off in a huff of irrational rage with a worried look on her face before turning back to me with a frown that told me that she wasn't. I braced myself for her excusing herself to chase after her friend like she always did, but instead of running out the door she only took one last look before shutting it.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**XOXO**

**Mamasutra**


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